A Dream That Never Meant To End
by Hanayuki Shizuka
Summary: Right from e start, they were living in a Dream call Love. People had define Dream as a Fantasy which would dissolve at the mere prod of Reality. Yet Fuji n Tezuka were willing 2 risk this Fantasy, for they have faith that Their Dream Never Meant To End！
1. never had a dream come true

Disclaimer: POT doesn't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 1: never had a dream come true

_Everybody's got something they had to leave behind  
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time  
There's no use looking back or wondering  
How it could be now or might have been  
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go_

I've never had a dream come true  
Till the day that I found you  
Even though I pretend that I've moved on  
You'll always be my baby  
I never found the words to say  
You're the one I think about each day  
And I know no matter where life takes me to  
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memory  
I've lost all sense of time  
and tomorrow can never be cause yesterday is all that fills my mind  
There's no use looking back or wondering  
How it should be now or might have been  
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

I've never had a dream come true  
Till the day that I found you  
Even though I pretend that I've moved on  
You'll always be my baby  
I never found the words to say  
You're the one I think about each day  
And I know no matter where life takes me to  
A part of me will always be

You'll always be the dream that fills my head  
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will  
Oh baby, you'll always be the one I know I'll never forget  
There's no use looking back or wondering  
Because love is a strange and funny thing  
No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye  
No, no, no, no

I've never had a dream come true  
Till the day that I found you  
Even though I pretend that I've moved on  
You'll always be my baby  
I never found the words to say (words to say)  
You're the one I think about each day  
And I know no matter where life takes me to  
A part of me will always be  
A part of me will always be with you

He stood at the departing hall of the international airport of Japan.

His gaze was fixed at the direction of the taxis stand. He was waiting, waiting for a little miracle, waiting for a sign that he was still missed and still loved. The sign never came.

When the call for his flight sounded through the speaker, he turned slowly, as if unwilling to tear his eyes from the doors which might bring him his last wish. The door opened and closed, but never once did it admitted the person he wanted to see the most.

Lingering for as long as possible, he stood there. His heart desperately calling out to the person he most wanted to see.

The one who had made his dreams come true, the one who had made all the impossible possible, the one he loved so much. No matter how much his heart had break, he knew he must give him up. No matter how much his heart had begged him to stay, to explain everything, his brain had won every single argument, and he couldn't be selfish. For his love, he must be firm this time.

Finally, he was convinced. He had lost.

On this world, the person he dreaded saying goodbye to most was now the person he must leave. On this world, the person he had loved with his soul was now the person he must betray. Gomen ne was the word he could only feel and not say, for within that little word, he knew would show all his pain and regret. He must be firm, if not for his love, then for himself.

_No matter where I go, I have left a part of me with you, when you are ready, you will see it. Bye-bye, no matter where I am, no matter how much distance, how much pain separates us, you will forever be my love, my dream, and my impossible. _


	2. everlasting pain

Disclaimer: POT doesn't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 2: everlasting pain

A crystal glass hit the wall and smashed into a million pieces. He smiled painfully at the shattered glass. _How similar it seems, to my heart and my life,_ he mused.

He sat back against the plush armchair. Clenching and unclenching his fists over and over again, he sought to bring his emotions back in check. He failed, as miserably as before. Tears ran unchecked down his lean countenance. All the pain and sorrow shimmered with agony within the crystal-clear tears.

As if the tears scalded him with their hot anguish, he wiped them away almost angrily. Choking back the sobs that threatened to engulf him, he hugged his middle. He never thought love would hurt so much, never knew that love could extinguish as quickly and as surely as pinching out a flame.

The words that came out from the person he had loved the most shocked and later disgusted him. And now, all there was left was a gapping pit within his soul.

All the loving words he used to say to his love came back like a gushing wave to mock him. They mocked him mercilessly, they mocked him of his stupidity, they laughed at his naivety and they made a joke of his love.

NO! GO AWAY! GO away… his inner scream ended in a sob, a sob he never allowed to surface. Just like all the questions he never allowed himself to ask the person he loved the most and hurt him the deepest.

The room he was in, used to smell like Fuji, it used to fill with Fuji's love and care, now all that was left was an echoing shout of abandonment and the mess he had made. Everything that had Fuji's personal touch was torn or broken or simply kept away.

He could no longer look at the smiling pictures of both him and Fuji. He couldn't bear to see his open happiness shown in the pieces of him locked in eternity within the pictures. He couldn't bear to see how much of a fool he was.

_Ne, Kuni-chan, look over here, ha, you looked great!_

_Saa, Tezuka, look at that rose, isn't it beautiful? Next time we shall adopt a daughter and name her Rose._

_Tezuka…_

_Kuni-chan…ha…_

_I love you…_

_I will miss you…_

_I love you so much…I will always be here!_

The remains of Fuji lingered like a thick fog around him. No matter where he turned to, no matter how he ran, no matter how much he drank, it seemed as if he could never escape Fuji. He was like a butterfly caught within the webs of Fuji Syuusuke. Helpless and defenseless against the memories Fuji had burned into his mind, he was a moth to Fuji's light.

A fool, more likely, a fool who always knew that no one could ever love him, a fool who believed in miracles, he was the greatest fool on Earth. And this greatest fool had made the acquaintance of the master in lies, now he was more so a fool.

Staring unseeingly at the lavish carpet which his grandmother had adored now stained with the deep burgundy color of the wine. It would take a lot to take out the stain, maybe it would be impossible. Just like forgiving Fuji was impossible now, after helping him making the impossible possible, he…

_Nothing is impossible…_

_I will do whatever I could…_

_Don't worry, my love, I promise…_

His shoulders shook with hysterical laughter. There it was again, the evidence of how much a fool he was really. His laughter rang through the house; all the servants cringed in pain at the obvious torture their young master was going through. All wanted to help, but the one who could heal the tormented soul of their young master had left for Paris this morning.

A few minutes later, the laughter ebbed and the house fell into a deep silence. The servants crawled around, fearful of making any sudden noise. At midnight, the lights in the young master's room still burnt with vigor.

The distinguish butler of the house drew his tall frame even straighter and proceed to the young master's room, intending to beard the lion at its den. He knocked and went in without permission. He had practically raised the young master, so he assumed that he had some authority over the young Sama.

But when he went in, he was shocked at the cleanliness of the room. The destruction which they knew was going on with all the crashing and splintering of wood was nothing but a shadow within the room.

"Kuni-Sama," the butler began. But he was stalled by the light snoring he heard.

The young Sama was asleep under the canopy towering over the bed.

The butler turned and left, switching off the lights as he went. He closed the door without a noise.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Tezuka opened his eyes. He stared into the dark and shivered. The deprivation of the lights seemed to scare him. He didn't want to be alone within the cold room. He wanted Fuji back. He wanted his love back.

In the darkness and stillness of the night, with the help of the intoxicating wine, he finally admitted that even if Fuji had betrayed him, his love remained unchanged. He still loved Fuji and that love would never change.

"Fuji…Syuu…come back…I…I need you…so much…I love…I love you too much…come back…come back…" sobs racked through his body and he buried deeper within the bed covers, trying to escape from the night that threatened to swallow him whole.

Halfway to Paris: on the plane.

Fuji jerked awake. He thought that he had heard Tezuka's voice. When he realized that he was on a plane to Paris and why, his heart plunged to the bottom and his eyes dulled with anguish.

If only he had left a letter explaining the truth, mayhap Tezuka would one day understand and forgive him. If only…

He shook himself. He had stepped onto this path with his eyes open. He knew how much he will lose when everything ended, but the chance of loving Tezuka, even for a little while, was worth all the risk in the world.

At the very least, that was what he thought then, but now, when he finally came to the end of their journey of love. He realized how much he wanted to protect Tezuka from the pain and the truth.

How many times he had faltered, how many times had the truth lodged in his throat, just a spurt of selfishness and he would have say it out loud. He couldn't say it, not when it meant that Tezuka might get hurt because of it.

_If only you knew, if only you knew how much I wanted to stay and love you. If only that person wasn't your father and possibly mine as well. _


	3. who are you? father

Disclaimer: POT doesn't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 3: who are you, father?

A powerful man strode through the arrival gates. He had arrived in Japan on his private plane. Normally he would just take a passenger jet, but he had heard about his son's situation and he decided to come back.

As he climbed into the limousine waiting for him at the entrance of the airport, he thought of his wife, who was currently shopping in Milan. Steeling his wondering mind, he pushed the thoughts of his wife away. His son needed him now, and he must help his only son. Perhaps not his only son, perhaps…

Disgusted by his thoughts, he closed his eyes to catch a quick nap. As he slipped into a troubled sleep, a pair of blue eyes stared appeared repeatedly in his mind's eye. A gentle smile and a laughing voice, his dreams were filled with the sense of loss and regret. So when he woke up by his chauffer, he wasn't refreshed, he felt even more burdened by the dreams he had for some time now, after meeting Tezuka's friend, it was as if...

Shaking himself mentally, he stepped into the door held wide open by his footmen. His butler gave him a proper bow and directed him to his son's location. Nodding a formal thank you to his butler, he left to find his son.

He knew that the butler was more than a servant to his son, as both him and his wife had always left their young son in the care of the very correct butler. He learnt his mistake when his son was five and came all the way to London to see him with his butler in tow.

He knew then and there that his son needed more than money and material goods. He needed a family and love. He could provide his son with a more complete family by coming back to their house in Japan more often. But love was something he never could seem to give to him, he had loved another woman and another little boy, all his love was used up.

When he reached his son's room, he entered without knocking. He wanted to give him a pleasant surprise, but this time it was him who was shocked. His son was sobbing his heart out.

The room was shrouded with shadows and the smell of liquor was unmistakable. He took a step forward. His heart wrenched at the broken look in his son's eyes. Kunimitsu was too caught up in his pain to see his father.

When he finally realized that someone else was present in his room, he reached out to the faint shadow within the many shadows dancing in his room.

"Fuji…you came back…you came back…I am so glad…I forgive you…just come back…don't leave…I am so scared, someone turned off the lights again…I can't see your face clearly anymore…Fuji…Syuu…" his son cried brokenly.

"Kunimitsu, it is me, your father." He spoke gently to his son.

"Father?" as if realizing that the shadow was not Fuji took away all his energy. He collapsed back into his unkempt bed and rolled away from his father. He didn't care; he didn't care if the God is here. He wasn't Fuji.

"Kunimitsu, you are worrying me. Please stop acting so forlornly, if you want to see your… friend again, just go and find him." He stopped when a loud and rude snore interrupted his speech. Knowing very well it was but a façade to hide his pain, he left. He didn't want to push him into anything. Not yet.

When the door closed with a loud click, Tezuka turned from his spoon position and stared at the ceiling. Hearing himself said Fuji's name shocked him. He had been repeating Syuu's name in his mind, but it was until today had he spoke of Fuji's name.

How many days had passed since Fuji left, how many days had he been sleeping and praying to see Fuji in his dreams, he couldn't remember. He felt so old and washed down, he felt cold as well, as if the God of Death was breathing on his body.

He closed his eyes, praying again for the merciful oblivious his sleep would provide him. It was the last resort. He was desperate for even a fragment of his love; a fragment would momentarily satisfy his pain-stricken heart.

His heart ached, as if Fuji had torn his heart from his body and ran off with it. His pride seemed to be so small and insignificant. He called Fuji; he called his mobile and the phone number he had scared out of his butler. Every time the reply he got was…

_I am unable to pick up the phone now, so please leave a message if you have urgent matters to discuss with me. _

He had called again and again. At first he was angry and disappointed, but now, he called just so he could hear the soft lilting voice of Fuji. He never left a message. He was too scared, afraid that Fuji would hear his voice message and not call him back. At least now, when Fuji didn't call back, he could console himself that Fuji didn't know who it was.

Paris, Fuji's apartment.

He stuffed his fist into his mouth in attempt to keep his cries and pain in. He knew that Tezuka had called many times a day. He knew that he called just to hear his voice on the voice machine. He wanted to delete his recording message, but whenever he hears the faint sharp intakes of breath of Tezuka's sobs. He forgot to do that.

He would sit by the phone, praying that Tezuka would call and leave a message. At least, then he would have an excuse to call him, he would have a chance to hear his voice again. But Tezuka never left a message; he always hung up whenever his recorded voice finished playing.

If only he didn't see the photographs, if only he forgot his true purpose there, he could have now stayed with Tezuka, still blissfully ignorant of their true relationship. If only he had a real father to prove his thoughts wrong, if only his mother hadn't died before telling him who was his real father.

Now all he had was a mountain of doubts and agony. In this silly world they lived in, he learnt that love could never withstand the heat of doubt and the impact of disbelief. At least, his love with Tezuka couldn't. And it was his entire fault. It was him, the smiling tensai who had robbed Tezuka of his smile and cruelly smashed his happiness.

He was a brilliant fool, who thought he could win this match in Fate against God. And he was proven the fool, after all.

_Tezuka, who is your father, who is he? Who is he to me? Who is my father? Who is my brother? _


	4. yesterday, today and future

Disclaimer: POT doesn't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 4: a perfect yesterday, a broken today and the dark future.

Flashback

_The young master of the Tezuka family has returned to Japan, after three years in Germany. The heir to the multi-billion company arrived late last night in their family's private jet. The young heir was alone except for his usual bodyguards. His parents apparently were still in their respective countries, tending to their business. Dressed in a formal Armani suit, this reporter could safely say that the past sullen heir had been transformed into a charming rogue. _

The papers were almost correct. He was back, but he wasn't alone this time. He didn't care that his parents weren't going to meet him at their house; he didn't care if he had been _magically transformed into a charming rogue._ He didn't care about all that nonsense, he had his love, and that was enough.

A pair of slender arms circled his neck and a warm body pressed against him. He smiled, nope, he definitely was not alone. Leaning back into his love's embrace, he closed his eyes. In this pair of arms, he could be spared the pointed eyes of the public, in this pair of arms, he could forget his position and in this pair of arms, he found love and solace.

"Ne, Kuni-chan, do you like my coffee?" warm breath fanned his face and pulled him gently back from his thoughts.

"Hai, oishii ne, arigatoo!"

They had met in Germany, when both were shopping in a tennis shop. Both saw the same racket and wanted it. That racket had symbolized the start of their beautiful love. And less than a month had passed, they had shared everything about themselves. But somehow, both were carefully guarding their families from one another.

Three months later, when Tezuka was summoned home to attend a business meeting his parents wanted him to, he asked Fuji to come along.

_I want to show you the place I lived and grew up; I want you to meet all my friends, I... I want you to meet my parents. _

Fuji paled when he heard the last part. _His parents, which means his mother and…his father._

He agreed reluctantly. The moment he had waited for so long, the moment he had wanted to come for so long, the moment he prayed for since he first planned his meeting with Kuni-chan, was now here, and he was afraid to grasp it.

It was in his throat, to refuse, to hold back. But somehow the _no_ had come out as _yes_.

He didn't want to sacrifice his love for Tezuka, for he had come to love him since their first meeting. He didn't want to discover his true relationship with Tezuka, he didn't want to lose to Fate, and he didn't want to lose to Tezuka's father. He wanted, no, he needed to stay far away from _that man_.

But he came. Dressed as another bodyguard, he managed to come with Tezuka undetected. Now, living in bliss with his love, he forgot his anxiety, his fear and the truth he swore to find out.

They lived in undisturbed happiness, the servants were glad that their young master was smiling and enjoying his life. It was a different man they saw. He was no longer the angrily silent boy, who won't smile at normal jokes. The only times he smiled were in painful mockery of himself.

The past wasn't kind to him; his parents' negligence had always and will always be the scar which would never heal. For whenever a little part heals, his mother or father would waltz back into his life; turn it upside down with their momentarily attention, tear the wound apart and then waltz to their next amusement. All that was left after such an occasion was a bloody and lifeless boy.

So when Tezuka was five, he decided that this kind of pain must end, before his scar fester and kills him. He forced his butler, with the forceful commanding voice he had learnt from his father.

He faced his father and made him see light by staring at him and started to tell him every single thing which he could remember doing in the past five years. His father had looked at his young son and saw the boy's logic. Since he couldn't be there everyday for his son, his son decided that he could listen to him reporting every detail of his life. _So you won't feel left out when I finally grow up and fly on my own._

The pain and determination he saw in his son's eyes burned his heart. He knew that if he rejects him now, he would forever lose him. He couldn't lose him; he had just lost another son and his love to a pitiless fire. He was still grieving for his son, and here was his heir, so determined not to lose his father, who would never know that he had a brother who was exactly the same age as he, a brother who had gotten his father's brown hair and blue eyes.

Rising from his chair, he crossed to his heir and picked him up. He was surprised how much he had grown. He had known all about his other son's height and weight, yet he knew nothing about his legitimate son. Pain gripped his heart and squeezed hard.

His father had paid more attention to him, but not enough to replace the part still missing from his mother. But he was satisfied, he knew that one day, he would not need them anymore, one day he would find another person who would love him as he deserved.

He found Fuji Syuusuke.

The person whom he knew loved him with all his heart.

End of flashback

_Fuji! Wait for me, please, please…no don't go, I know that you still love me, don't leave me, and don't take my heart with you. Don't go, don't go, don't go…I love you…don't go…_

He jerked awake. He was afraid.

The dream was so real, so very real. Fuji had left him again, he turned from him, his eyes were so cold, as if he had been detached from all the pain radiating from his own body and eyes. _Cold blue eyes chilled my heart; all I am left with was his back view._

From that day onwards, the sullen and angry young master was back. Every single servant walked on egg shells, even the butler had been on his wit's end. He knew that the young master was dying slowly inside, but there was nothing he could do.

Beneath his anger, a hurt little child cried, the same little child who watched his parents leave after satisfying their momentarily spurt of parental need. Beneath his shouts and his violence, a broken soul pleaded with the world to see his pain, pleaded with his absent love to come back.

All his youthful insecurities came back, he no longer smiled at the silly jokes some of the servants made, he no longer forgive with grace. He was no longer a human, losing Master Fuji had made him into a monster with no soul.

It hurt him to see the young Sama to hide his agony from him; it hurt him to see his young charge lost himself in the hellish paradise alcohol had brought. He didn't want to see the dead look in his eyes whenever he thought he was alone.

The young Sama was killing himself slowly and surely. The loss of Fuji-Sama had killed everything within him.

_Why can't I see the light, why is the future so dark? When will tomorrow comes, when will today ends? _


	5. don't give up,Kunichan,I am coming back

Disclaimer: POT doesn't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 5: don't give up, Kuni-chan, I am coming back.

_How I wish I could turn back time_

_To the days when he was mine._

_To the days when our hearts were one,_

_When our clocks of love had just begun._

_How I wish I could turn back time_

_To when his love seemed like a crime,_

_When he held me tight for o' so long,_

_When his voice was my favorite song._

_But the hands of time cannot go back,_

_And I must learn to face the fact._

_His new life has no room for me;_

_Yet, still I love him... secretly._

Two months had passed, and Fuji had settled comfortably into his new life in Paris. His only goal now was to forget his past, forget everything about Tezuka. Every time he heard someone talking with the hard and unbending voice, he would race out. He was sure Tezuka had found him and now he was here to bring him home. But it was never him.

No matter how much his mind prayed that Tezuka would never find him, no matter how his logical brain pleaded that he would just remain out of sight forever, his silly heart would dream of the day Tezuka would find him and bring back his soul and heart again.

There was a saying, _it took one second to spot him, one minute to know him, one hour to love him and forever to forget him. _He laughed mirthlessly. Was he going to be condemned to an eternity of heartsickness and longing? Was that his reward for not being selfish? Was that the result of his love for Tezuka?

He switched channels listlessly, the French was deeply accented, but he managed to catch it.

He stopped and stared at the flashing picture on the screen. He couldn't believe his eyes.

_The heir to the Tezuka Incorporation is now standing at the top of the cliff. He is going to attempt the climb down the cliff with _no _safety gear. Just one slip and his life would be put in dire jeopardy! This was the fifth stunt the young heir had pulled; people are questioning the soundness of his mind. All the live-threatening acts he had committed struck fear even in the professional stunt men! Why would anyone with billions of heritance want to risk a visit to the God of Death? There he goes…_

The door slammed shut as the TV set droned on.

_Why Tezuka, why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this to yourself? I cannot lose you, why are you risking your life like this? Please, oh God, please keep him safe. _

Looking the pictures from the TV set had struck such fear in Fuji's heart. When they captured Tezuka's face, he saw his eyes and he knew that he would lose Tezuka if he didn't go to him now.

The dullness of his eyes, as if he had given up all will to live. The darkness lurking within them was as if he didn't care if he survived the stunt or not. For all means, Tezuka had given up life, he didn't care about his life anymore, no, he had _wanted_ to die.

Fuji was sobbing by the time he reached the airport. He bought the last ticket to Japan. He had to hurry. He didn't even know whether Tezuka had survived his current stun. Fuji wasn't a religious man by nature, but he was praying, praying that he wasn't too late, praying that Tezuka was still alive, praying that he would be able to tell Tezuka the truth.

The flight was too long. _Please, wait for me, do not give up yet, I don't allow you to give up…please, stay strong for me!_

One step, two steps…he reached for the next ragged edge of cliff with his feet.

Everyone gasped in painful anticipation whenever he missed a step and hung precariously by a hand. He didn't care.

Death had seemed so tempting lately.

The blissful oblivious he had gotten from drinking was wearing thin. He could still feel the pain in his heart, he could still see the day when Fuji walked away. _Thank you for taking care of me, but your lifestyle was getting stale to me. Bye-bye._

The words haunted him day and night. There were no respite from them, there were no merciful escape from reality and he no longer wants to live.

His first attempt to end his life was rope-walking. He survived that with the luck reserved for little children.

Next he breached the Great Wall of China. He survived that with the luck reserved for fools.

Bungee jumping and racing car had spared his life with the luck reserved for the kind and the pitiable.

He raged silently at all the unfairness of life. He wanted to live, but He had taken away Fuji, when he wanted to die, He gave him all the luck.

Slowly and almost carelessly, he tripped over the serrated wall of the cliff. He wanted to just let go and fall. He wanted to end everything with just a push from the wall. But his pride didn't allow it. He would never allow people to think that he killed himself.

Praying hard that he would die now, he got even more careless, slipping down several meters, before grabbing hold of a sharp rock and hung swaying in the wind. Blood coated the rocks he had gripped with inhuman strength. _Perhaps the blood would make the rocks slippery and I would lose my hold and fall._

When he finally reached the ground, everyone heaved a relieved sigh. But he was staring angrily into the clouds, he couldn't believe that fifty seven feet and he was still alive. It wasn't fair; it just wasn't fair that he had to suffer when all he wanted was the total relief from life.

He strode away, disregarding all the gushing people and his badly torn hands. The admiration and the questions from the damn reporters were not important, the pain he was in was not important, but the fact he wasn't dead was important. Mayhap he should just step in front of a speeding car and let it end there and then.

_Fuji, since you didn't want me anymore, I no longer want myself as well. Please God, just let me die, let me die! I don't want to hurt like this anymore. My heart and soul was numbed and I can no longer feel anything but pain. Doesn't that give me the right to seek death? DAMN YOU GOD…damn you…DAMN YOU FUJI SYUUSUKE!_

He broke into cold sweat, he had felt the pain, it wasn't his, but it was there, as if, as if Tezuka had died and on his last breath, he had cursed Fuji for all the pain and sorrow he had caused him.

_Please…don't give up yet, Kuni-chan, I am coming back. _


	6. an eternity 2 late,a heartbreak 2 far

Disclaimer: POT doesn't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 6: an eternity too late, a heart break too far

Slipping into the car wearily, he fell into a deep stupor. His chauffer looked despondently at the sleeping man. He had been the one who drove him around the world to do all the dangerous stunts. He felt he was partly at fault, as if he had been driving his young master to his death every single time.

He maneuvered the car slowly and carefully through the thick traffic. Everyone had turned up to see his young master risk his life on that bloody cliff. He didn't know what to say to his young master, he didn't know how to stop him. Then again, who was he to say anything, when his own father had not said anything or do anything to stop him? All he could do was pray that he could still drive his young master home every time.

He looked briefly at the sleeping man. He was shocked, for this man, this harsh and haggard man could never be the young master who used to be so kind and laughing at their jokes with Fuji-Sama…

Fuji-Sama…the person who had brought light into his young master's life and when he left, he extinguished it too. His young master was never the same after it. And he couldn't help but feel that the gentle Fuji-Sama had to be partly responsible for all the grief the young master had to go through.

Finally when they reached the mansion the young master had lived for years, he was reluctant to wake the tired-looking man up. So he decided to take the car for a few rounds around the high-class neighbor, so as to let the young Sama rest a little while longer.

As the spacious Jaguar leaved the curb once again, a taxi came in. A thin and worry-stricken Fuji stepped out of the taxi. Without collecting his change, he rushed up the steps to the oak doors. Two footmen held it open for Fuji.

"May I inquire about your presence here, Fuji-san?" the grave butler asked Fuji in polite but frosty voice. He was all but ready to throw this man who had hurt his master so, out. But deep down, he knew that this frail man was the savior to his young master's soul. He must be given a chance, even if the odds were high.

"Gomen ne, I…I want to see Kuni…I want to see Tezuka Kunimitsu please."

"Young master is currently not present, if you wish it; you may come into the living room to wait for him."

Knowing that it was an opening, Fuji grabbed it. The butler led him slowly towards the room, although he knew well that Fuji was familiar with the house. As Fuji walked across the corridors, memories of him and Tezuka flood his mind.

He saw how they used to race down the stairs to get outside, or simply walked hand-in-hand to go out for a walk. He saw how they used to cuddle at one corner of the room to read together. Everything was familiar, yet so distanced. As if Tezuka had even decreed the house to be cold towards the traitor.

He entered the living room, while the butler bowed stiffly at the doorway. He was left alone in the room, where he had so much fun with his love. Only a few months had passed, yet it seemed as if an eternity had passed.

Shivering in the cold room, he sat down on the chair which Tezuka had declared his favorite. Laying his head back, he closed his eyes. All the worrying and all the pain had taken their tows on him. He fell asleep, with dreams of Tezuka falling from the cliff and was lost to him forever.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE! GET OUT!" the shouting jerked Fuji from his stupor.

"What…Kuni-chan! Are you alright? Are you ok? How dare you do that stupid act…" he drifted off, he looked into Tezuka's eyes and there was no life within them. They were like dark shards of icy crystal, piercing and unforgiving.

"You are too late, Fuji Syuusuke. You are an eternity too late." With that, Tezuka slammed out of the room.

"Wait…I…"

Tezuka never turned, just as he never turned when he walked out on Tezuka three months ago. He never knew about all the tears flowing down Fuji's face, just as he never knew about the tears Tezuka had shed.

His raised arm fell back uselessly to his side. No matter how he reached for Tezuka, he could never reach his heart again, no matter how he called to Tezuka; he could never hear the echo of his love again. He had lost everything the day he walked out from this place. He had lost Tezuka the day he broke his heart and their love.

Slowly he followed the angry Tezuka. When the latter slammed his room's door in his face, he sat down by the door. If all he could get was a one-sided conversation with Tezuka, he would use it to make sure he never does all the dangerous acts again.

"Tezuka, I knew that the day I walked out on you," a crash resounded from his room. "I broke your heart. But I never meant to, it was for your own good," again, he was interrupted by a crash.

"Please, I beg of you, don't ever hurt yourself again, it pains me…" he almost fell backwards when the door was slammed open.

"Pains you? Didn't my pain amuse you? Didn't my failures entertain you? Didn't my stale lifestyle bore you? Why do you hate this _new and exciting lifestyle_ I lead?"

"Please stop…I…"

"You were always too late, no matter what happens, my heartbreak has became a fact. No matter how guilty you are feeling now, my heartbreak will never disappear." With that, Fuji was once again faced with a wooden door again.

_The moment you stepped on and over my heart, the day you ripped my soul to shreds, I had been changed. It was too late now Fuji, you are too late, an eternity too late, and a heart break too far._

_**Thinking back, how much happiness we used to have.**_

_**Beyond all the distance which separates us, sent my love and song to him.**_

_**So much memories, a little by a little they trickled away to nothingness.**_

_**Thousands and millions threads of love, melted into pain.**_

_**Since you left, birds never sing and winter chilled my bones.**_

_**During the long nights, who would warm my heart and soul?**_

_**Before you left, I have promised to meet you in paradise or in hell.**_

_**One farewell so long, so long, my dreams were void of you.**_

**_With love so deep, yet our happiness could never be._**

_**Reality or dream, laughter and gentleness had lingered.**_

_**Seen you in veils of dreams, doubts crowded my mind.**_

_**Soul and dream, why can you not merge and let me live within?**_

_**A trip to the past, everything was left in ruin and rubbles.**_

**_Our promise had remained, nothing but lonely shadows to walk the path._**

_**An eternity promise, wait and wait and still waiting.**_

_**A call from heart break, return soon, I am still waiting. **_


	7. bitter truth and sayonara

Disclaimer: POT doesn't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 7: bitter truth and sayonara

The door separating them never opened, just like the wall erected between them could never be breached again. Fuji sat outside in the draft corridor. He wanted to tell Tezuka of the truth, and in order to do that, he needed Tezuka's father.

Standing up, stiff from sitting in the same position for half a day, he walked towards the main study, where he was sure he could find Tezuka's father. He knocked politely. And on hearing his permission to enter, he pushed open the heavy door.

"Ah, I was wondering when you would come and see. Are you here to talk about Kunimitsu? I was just about to go over when I overheard the shouting match…"

"I am Fuji Syuusuke; my mother is Fuji Akihanashi, she died when I was five in a fire. I was spared as a kind neighbor took me when I got lost. I…I was an illegitimate child…my father…"before he could finish his sentence, he found himself in a strong embrace.

"My son, my son…my precious son…" he mumbled as he tried to accept the fact that his son was still alive. After so long, he had finally found the son who symbolized the love of him and Aki.

Pulling the lean boy into a seat, he dragged a chair over and sat opposite him. Carefully scrutinizing the delicate features of his young son, he tried to figure out how he could have missed the resemblance between them.

"I love your mother so much. We…we met in a flower shop when I was ordering flowers for my…for my wife. Her kindness and her understanding nature etched her looks into my brain forever. At that time, my relationship with my wife was still relatively well, but after I fell in love with your mother, I realized that the love I should have for my wife, wasn't there anymore."

"Later, right before you were conceived, my wife told me _she_ was pregnant. I knew it was a desperate bid to keep me by her side. Being the president of a multi-billion company didn't allow me to be selfish and irresponsible. And your mother understood, for she continued loving me, although I knew it was killing her from inside slowly."

They talked through the night. When finally all the doubts and anger within Fuji had disappeared, his real father dropped a bombshell on him.

"Kunimitsu wasn't my child. His mother had an affair with another person and claims him as mine. She told me when she came back to see him last month only to find him on the other stupid stunt. She claimed that I found out about her infidelity, and that was why I didn't stop him from doing. She just didn't know that I had tried and failed. After she told me, I was so angry and I didn't care what that…Kunimitsu do with his life…"

Fuji didn't catch the rest beyond Kuni-chan wasn't his father's son. He jumped from his chair and ran towards Kuni-chan's room. _They weren't brothers! Then their love was allowed!_

Finally realizing the importance of his news, he ran after his long-lost son. When he arrived, he found Syuu standing outside the locked room and was pleading with Kunimitsu to open the door. He pushed Fuji aside gently and opened the door with a key.

The room was dark, despite the warm rays flitting through the binds. He frowned at the mess Kunimitsu had made. Vases were broken, wine bottles were smashed and all the pillows torn.

"Kuni-chan, wake up…I need to talk to you." Fuji ignored the deaden look in Kuni-chan's eyes.

"Your father was actually my father too; I knew that when I met you, and I confirmed that before I left. I thought that we couldn't have a future that was why I lied to you, to spare you the pain. But…but I just found out from your…no, my father that you are not his real son, your scheming mother had an affair and claimed you as my father's son. So you see, you are not my brother! We can love one another without fear now!"

Fuji was so happy with his discovery and sure of Kuni-chan's response that he totally missed the look of pain and the shattering of Tezuka.

It was until Tezuka stood up and when he didn't hug Fuji as Fuji thought he would, he finally realized his mistake. Tezuka wasn't happy at all. Pushing past Fuji and _Fuji's father_ he walked stiffly from the room.

He didn't stop when Fuji cried for him to stop; he didn't stop when _Fuji's father_ commanded him to stop. He didn't care, previously he was confused when his father…no, _Fuji's father_ had been constantly giving cold shoulder, but now he wasn't confused, he saw everything through light now.

When Fuji grabbed his arm, his control snapped.

"LET GO! How dare you touch me! You planned your first meeting with me, didn't you?" at Fuji's guilty nod, he gave a harsh laugh and Fuji flinched.

"You just told me that my entire life was nothing but a lie, a fabrication that my _scheming_ mother had come up with. You just told me that the man I had been calling father, the only person I could really rely on wasn't my father! As the matter of fact, we not even remotely related. And you have the cheek to tell me that _we can love one another without fear now_?" at Fuji's stricken look, Tezuka knew that all that didn't come across in his mind. To him, finding out his real father wasn't Tezuka's real father was good news.

"All you are concerned about was yourself, didn't it occurred to you that it was _your mother_ who had schemed and stole my mother's husband?" for the first time since they met, Tezuka slapped Fuji.

Two slaps resounded through the corridor. Both Tezuka and Fuji were sporting a burning cheek.

"HOW DARE YOU SLAP MY SON, YOU UNGRATEFUL WHELP!"

The last fragment of Tezuka's soul shattered and he knew he could never be whole again. He knew that now the most important thing was to rebuild his life. After all, these two people, who he had loved and respected, had destroyed everything he knew and everything he believed in.

Giving them a mocking bow, he straightened, his pride didn't allow his tears to fall, and his pride didn't allow him to show his grief now. He turned away from them, he took a step and then another. Slowly and surely he walked from them, and with the distance separating them, the ties between them stretched and stretched and until finally they snapped.

_From this day fore, I will be my own man. From this day fore, I will never be back. From this day fore, I am no long Tezuka Kunimitsu, the heir of the Tezuka's family. Let Fuji has a taste of it; let him take up all the responsibilities I have been shouldering all these years. _

_Sayonara Fuji, sayonara otoosan, sayonara Tezuka Kunimitsu. _


	8. roles reversed and worlds apart

Disclaimer: POT doesn't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 8: roles reversed and worlds apart.

_One mile and another, across the hills and river_

_I used to run after you, my love forever_

_Look back, you never_

_My tears unseen,_

_My pain within,_

_Where have you been?_

_Now I am tired, I stopped; perhaps I should give up, perhaps_

_You turned and gave me a brilliant smile _

_With a sharpest knife you put a hole into my heart_

_With the slightest twist you killed everything within me_

_I dropped into the pit of darkness_

_I fell into the mouth of pain_

_Your laughter echoed into my ears_

_So gentle, yet now it struck fear into my absent heart_

He twisted and turned in the small and lumpy bed. His troubled mind refused him the rest and oblivious he wanted. No, not troubled, his mind was a fog of pain, and his heart was strangely void of any feeling. It would make sense if one said that his heart was numbed by pain, but no matter how he prodded, all he felt was emptiness.

Fuji Syuusuke, the name which had once made him trembled with love and tenderness, now seemed like two meaningless words. His face, once an object he had beheld and loved, was nothing more than a smiling mask. It seemed that everything about Fuji had been a lie. It seemed that his entire life was a dream. It seemed that he had never lived before. It seemed…it seemed like he was betrayed, again.

The first time he parted with Fuji, he had lived through hell. The first time he parted with Fuji, he had prayed for his return. The first time he had parted with Fuji, he had abused his body and mind.

The second time he parted with Fuji, he wished it would be forever.

Never again, would he looked at that achingly familiar face, and not remember the anguish and the pain he had gone through.

Never again, would he hear the gentle voice, and not remember the despair and the lost confidence he had to live with.

Never again, would he love, without remembering a honey-browned haired boy whose presence stole his soul and sealed his heart.

Never again, would he trust.

He was afraid, he was afraid that he would forget Fuji. Not because of any noble or pretty emotion, but because he didn't want to forget the hurt Fuji had inflicted on him; he didn't want to forget his anger. He didn't want to forget his hatred.

He smiled, the first since running out the house he had known to be haven since birth, a mirthless smile. How strange, it seemed now, as if he had been a spectator, watching his entire life standing side by side with his mortal body. Everything was so unreal.

_With great love comes great anger; with great passion comes great hatred._ It was true, to a certain extent. He now hated Fuji, and he didn't hated Fuji with passion, no he hated Fuji with a cool anger.

_Fuji Syuusuke, the great love of my life, Fuji Syuusuke, the best friend of my life, was nothing but a fraud. _

Fuji sat in Tezuka's bed. This room was now his. This house was now his. This company was now his. Yet nothing mattered. He felt nothing. He had gained a lot, but he had lost his love, his soul and the best part of his life.

He was shocked when Tezuka didn't feel the same way as he did.

He was shocked when Tezuka had run out.

He was shocked when his father couldn't find him.

He was shocked when the pain hit him.

He was shocked at how Tezuka must have felt when he had left him and never looked back.

_Kuni-chan, where are you? Come back to me please. I could give up everything; I could even give up my father. I had done without him for years, I think I could carry on without him, but I know for a fact that I can't do without you. _

He never knew his father, to him, father was only a myth he had heard from other children. He never knew his father, he barely knew his mother. All he could remember of his mother was a gentle voice and a pair of softest hands.

It was by chance he saw his father on television. He hadn't known that the man was his father then, but he was struck by the similarities between both of them. Their hair was the same soft brown color; their eyes were the bluest of the blue.

It was, again, by chance he got to know that Tezuka was staying in Germany, and in the same city too. It was as if Fate had joined them with an unbreakable line. At that thought, Fuji laughed brokenly. _Unbreakable, it seemed like with the slightest tug of trouble, the line had broken. Unbreakable, when all it took was a stupid mistake on his part to break the line. Tezuka had break all ties with him, it seemed. Tezuka had severed this line with ease, with his own betrayal as knife._

He never thought that his white lie would hurt him; he never thought that his true identity would kill their love. If only he knew, if only he could turn back time, if only… what was the use of a doting father, when the person who really mattered was forever lost to him, what was the use of knowing his true heritage when he could never love the man he love.

What was the use? When he gained everything, he lost Tezuka. Was it worth it?

Across the city, within a squalid motel, another man was questioning himself. But he wasn't interested in getting Fuji back, he was more interested in how he was going to survive, and survive well.

He could apply for a job. With his MBA, he could easily secure a high pay job. But using the qualifications he had gotten with the help of his "father" to get a job disgusted him. No, he wanted to live on his abilities, not with the lifestyle his "father" had groomed him up to.

In the end, the matter was taken out of his hands. His mother had sent one of her managers to come and pick him up. From that day onwards, he would be working for one of his mother's friends. He didn't reject, at least the help he received was from his true mother, not a man he had called "father" and had absolutely no ties to.

Executive manager that was what he was groomed to be, and that was what he became.

Ironically, he was going to use the skills he had picked from his "father" to work for his "father's" biggest business rival.

Two people, who had loved with their hearts and souls, now stood on the opposite ends of the world, each representing different family, company and meaning. Fuji, the new found heir and Tezuka the newest bachelor and the most out-going playboy in town.

Looking at the quiet success Fuji had in the musical world and in his company, Tezuka felt nothing but a lingering shadow of past grief. No longer would he smiled when he saw Fuji, never would his heart tightened when he hears about Fuji, Fuji was nothing but his rival, nothing but the past.

When Fuji read the newspaper, he would usually see Tezuka among the glamorous. His smile, which had been rare in the past, now flashed with consistency within the elegant ballrooms and the wild bachelors' parties across the town. Every time, Fuji saw the smile which hid the true Tezuka, his heart broke a little. Every time, Fuji saw the beautiful heiresses and high-class prostitutes hanging on Tezuka's arm, his heart cried a few drops of blood. _Tezuka, please stop it. _

_Once we were one, our hearts beat in pair_

_Once love was in the air, our hands clasped so tightly_

_Once I thought this love would last till forever_

_Now everything changed_

_You were not you anymore_

_I was not I anymore_

_Worlds apart we stood_

_This dream had came to the end_

_It should end now for our love was no longer to be_

_This dream had came to the last note_

_We should wake up and forget about it_

_Tomorrow we would open our eyes and see another_

_In the mirror of our hearts_

_I love you_

_I love you not_

_Thou love thee_

_Thou love thee not_

_This dream had finally come to the end_

_Good-bye my love. _

Author's note: if you are worried that this story had come to an end, worry not, I barely begun to torture this pair of lovers. Ha! Wait till the next chapter! Ja ne!


	9. a new start

Disclaimer: POT doesn't and will never belong to me

Chapter 9: a new start

"Kunimitsu, tomorrow afternoon, I want you to meet me in the café outside your company."

Tezuka mumbled an okay before the door closed gently behind him. He sighed; he was sure what his mother wanted. Another matchmaking session, he was most sure of it. This few months, he had been traveling to and fro, meeting ladies and girls too young for him. His mother wanted him to get married, every girl his mother had deemed appropriate he had met.

And his mother was fast losing patience with him. Every girl he had met, he managed to find some faults with them, no matter how beautiful, no matter how demure, and no matter how gentle, he couldn't seem to find the right one.

Every girl and lady he met, either they were too tall, too short, too beautiful, too ugly, too thin, too fat, too soft, too loud, too generous or too self-centered.

_Fuji had spoilt his taste for others. No matter whom he met, no matter who he found charming enough, Fuji would appear in his mind and spoilt the image of the girl. No one could be Fuji…Fuji was his everything once, but he had forgotten all about Fuji, didn't he? If he did, why did he search for a hint of him whenever he looked at another person? _

Pushing from his oak desk, he loosened his tie. He needed to take a break from all this work. The man he was working for, the mysterious boss and his mother's friend was an ambition-driven son-of-a-bitch. Everyday he had endless work to complete, everyday he had bring his work home, everyday he was happy.

He didn't want others to think that he was relying on his mother's connections, no, he wanted to prove himself to everyone, he wanted to prove his worth to his mother, his colleagues, his friends and he wanted to prove that he could survive, to his… no Mr. Tezuka. Most of all he wanted to prove to himself, all the years of sheltering had created an illusion, he wasn't as strong and as capable he believed himself to be.

When Fuji left him, he remembered the despair, he remembered the heartache, but still he was confident, he was confident of his entire life, he was confident of his family. But when Fuji returned to him, he had lost more than anyone. He lost Fuji, he lost his father and he lost… he lost himself. He lost himself to unknown darkness lurking around in this world.

Never had life seemed so bleak, never had he been so uncertain of his life, his future and himself.

Shaking himself and berating himself mentally, he shrugged away the insecurity which seemed to be waiting in the darkness to pounce on him and devour him. He didn't want to think back on those days when he had lost everything he had believed and held true, he didn't dare.

With a kick, he turned to face the room-length windows. His office was on the fifty-sixth floor, being one of the president's top executives gave him certain privileges, having a private and spacious office which offered a overview of the city was just one of them. After working for a few months, he hadn't seen his boss, although, he might be able to see that man next week. All the top executives were informed that the president wanted to have a meeting with them.

In this meeting, it would be his chance to show the rest that he wasn't a rich playboy. His degree in business and management hadn't been a fluke neither did he graduated with honors with his… with that man's money or influence.

When the digital clock on his desk flashed 4.00pm, he stood and straightened his tie.

Family duty calls.

Fuji sat quietly at the table. Across the silk-covered table top, a similarly silent girl sat in her chair. Fuji was comfortable with the silence, after all, all these months without Tezuka, the only sound he found comforting was silence. Even the soothing music of the piano no longer calmed the pain boiling within him.

"Go…gomen ne…watashi wa…watashi Sakuno desu!" Fuji was jerked from his stupor when the girl practically shouted at him.

"Saa…Sakuno-chan, pleased to meet you. Watashi Fuji Syuusuke desu ne." he smiled as an apology for his lack of attention. His smile visibly relaxed the girl, she sat less stiffly in her seat and reached for her wineglass. She seemed satisfied with the exchange of their names, and desisted in any form of pleasantries. Her calm silence allowed Fuji to lapse into his musings again.

Images flashed in his mind, images of Tezuka smiling at him, images of Tezuka complimenting his photography, all tortured his soul, so much so that when Sakuno called him again, he saw his love instead of the confused girl. He reached for the face which was so achingly beautiful to him. He caught himself in time and managed to conceal it by lowering it to his wineglass.

He was almost grateful when their food arrived. With food to occupy his thoughts he could at least temporarily block out the painful memories of his lost love. He busied himself with the food, never looking up to see the girl's clear adoration.

The door of the restaurant opened, held wide by the doorman. A handsome couple came into the expensive diner, the tall and handsome man was none other than the disinherited heir of the Tezuka's corporation, currently the charming rogue of a bachelor. The lady by his side was the famous daughter of the powerful oil monarch, Ann Tachibanna.

Fuji never noticed the door opening, but the moment Tezuka stepped into the room and scanned disinterestedly around, he sensed him. Fuji's head jerked up and he twisted to see Tezuka staring at him. His heart fluttered painfully in his chest, a fist of grief gripped his throat when Tezuka looked past him and saw his dinning partner, and then looked back at his companion and smiled at something she said.

He didn't know what to do, what to think, in the past, he was always able to see what Tezuka was thinking, but now, when he looked into the blank eyes of Tezuka's, he saw nothing but a bottomless pit. No emotion and no hint of what he was thinking or feeling. He didn't want that, he wanted to see the real Tezuka again, but he knew he was too late, again.

He returned his attention to his food.

They sat at a table right in front of him.

They laughed happily.

They flirted outrageously.

They looked into one another's eyes with clear adoration.

Fuji's heart shattered into a million pieces, like the stars both of them used to love gazing at, it shattered and flew into the black vacuum.

He forced himself to stop gawking at them. He should be happy for them, he should be happy for Tezuka, he should be happy that Tezuka had found his true love, he should…but his heart told him another story.

Tezuka was exerting all his charms on the girl sitting in front of him. He wanted to hurt Fuji, he wanted to hurt him like he had hurt him when he crushed his life, like when he had tipped his world off its axle, like when he enjoyed another's company so much that he barely spare him a look.

After so many months, after so many self-deceiving thoughts, he had finally realized that he had never forgotten Fuji, he had never stop loving him. Once he had said that he wanted to remember Fuji, so he will never forget his hatred for his ex-boyfriend, but then, lately, he wanted to forget and move on. He didn't wanted to be locked within the dark abyss of hatred.

Angry with his inability to ignore Fuji, he decided to bring out the big guns, so to speak. He smoothly took out the diamond ring his mother had insisted that he bring for every matchmaking session.

"Will you marry me?"

"Huh?..."

_No!_


	10. winter

Disclaimer: POT doesn't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 10: winter

Fuji looked at Tezuka with anguish clearly written on his face. Never had he thought that Tezuka would forget about their love so completely that he was able to move on so fast and so thoroughly. _Please, don't do this to me; don't break my heart this way. Don't do this to me, don't this to our love, please, onegai, Kuni-chan!_

The rich heiress stared at the man in front of her, true, he was charming and so handsome, but to agree to marry him? It was a few steps too far. She was about to reject his less-than-romantic proposal, when she looked into his eyes and saw the desperation. She turned slightly and looked at the other man on the table behind theirs.

Throughout the meal, she had noticed the fevered looks between Tezuka and the other man behind her. By the distinct features of the Tezuka's clan, she was sure that the other guy was the new found son of the rich typhoon. She wasn't interested in the frail-looking guy, no matter how rich he was.

She turned back and looked into Tezuka's eyes again, only to find him looking at Fuji Syuusuke with regret and remorse and something deeper, something which had torn the lovers apart. She decided that she liked Tezuka more as a good friend, so a little sacrifice for friend should be nothing.

"Okay! I accept." When a loud gasp came from the back of their table, she smiled and winked at the unsuspecting Tezuka. Finally comprehending that Ann was agreeing to go along with his plan, Tezuka smiled widely and place the flawless diamond ring onto her third finger.

Tezuka heard a loud scraping of chair against the floor. Fuji was stalking angrily over to his table. He smiled; finally he had gotten a hackle out of his love…his ex-love. The gentle reminder had efficiently destroyed his smile.

"Tezuka, why are you doing this, please…give me another chance…I love…"

"Shut up! Don't say that you love me. You never did, it was all but a trick, a trick for a fool!" all the pain and all the hurt Tezuka had suffered came rushing back. It blinded him and he didn't see the remorse and the tortured regret darkening Fuji's eyes.

Angry that he had lost his cool in front of Fuji, he torn his eyes from Fuji, refusing himself the luxury to look at Fuji's face. Strangely, seeing Fuji and hearing him talking about loving him seemed to be another betrayal.

Pushing himself from his seat, he towered over Fuji, brushing past him as if he were nothing but an annoying pest; he went to collect his partner, his fiancée. Without a backward glance, he walked away with Ann on his arm.

As he walked towards the door of the diner, he could felt Fuji's eyes burning into his back. He walked from Fuji, again. This time, he was calm, this time he was better.

This time, his heart only broke a little. He would survive…he hoped.

It was by sheer determination and strong will that Fuji didn't collapse with the pain in his heart. He looked on as Tezuka walked out, again, this time with his new-found love by his side. The thought cut deeply within his heart and soul. He wanted to sit on the floor and cry; he wanted to howl to everyone who would hear about his pain and his regret.

He knew that he had hurt Tezuka acutely before, but he never believed that Tezuka would forget about him, forget about the love they shared. _I love you so, why couldn't you see that and forgive me? Why can't you put away your pride for once?_

Slowly, with slightly visible efforts, he pulled himself together and went back to his companion. He was silent as he could no longer concentrate on anything else but his devastated mind and soul. He no longer sees the brightness of the sun and could no longer taste the sumptuous food. He was dead to everything but the heartache. He ignored the calls of his companion. He didn't care.

His father had wanted him to marry the girl. She was the one of the richest heiress; her family owned the chain of the largest and most expensive hotels around the entire world. She was one of the best catch and his father wanted him to forget about Tezuka and move on.

He had thought then, when he was faced with his father's decision, that he wouldn't marry anyone other than Tezuka, he was sure then, that Tezuka was still in love with him and would one day forgive him. He was so sure then, so very sure. Now he was sure that his confidence in their love was misplaced.

Finally he looked up and saw Sakuno flinched. He was unaware of the bleakness within his eyes. He was unaware of the lack of emotions within his eyes; he was unaware of anything except that he had somehow lost himself. He didn't know what to do; he didn't know how to find that part of him again, the part that Tezuka had killed when he proposed to another.

He left the restaurant, he didn't turn when Sakuno shouted for him, he didn't stop when he approached the road, he didn't falter when he stepped onto the road, nor did he react when Sakuno pulled him from the path of approaching cars. He was as good as dead. When Tezuka had left him, he had harbored hopes that Tezuka would forgive him. But that hope had died, that tiny part of his soul had flickered and snuffed out like a candle.

_When the day ends, everything went red and orange, but soon it would be grey and bleak. The world would be dark, and I would soon forget how the sun looks like, I would soon lived in the endless night, with no gentle moon beams as companions, I would die and yet live forever in this world of darkness. _

The next time he woke up, he was in a darkened room. For awhile, he thought that he had indeed died and came to live in this abyss of gloom. He thought he was free, finally. But that wish was snapped from his weak hands when the door to the room opened and lights streamed in.

"Tezuka…Kuni-chan…you came back…you…" his hoarse voice gave way when he saw that it was not Tezuka, but his father. The little energy he had left slipped silently into the dark pit within his heart. He turned from his father and stared at the dark windows.

He stopped at his son's bedside. His pose so familiar that it brought back painful memories. Although he never admitted it out loud, he had missed Kunimitsu, Kunimitsu with his commanding presence, and Kunimitsu with his stubbornness and his loyalty. He hurt every time he remembered how his harsh words and coldness had driven his broken-hearted "son" to a bleak existence. He didn't want to lose his biological son to the same darkness he had lost Kunimitsu to.

Although he pretended that he didn't care about Kunimitsu, he had read and reread every single article about him. He had smiled proudly to himself when he saw how Kunimitsu rose in ranks in his rival's company. He frowned when he saw Kunimitsu with certain less-than-appropriate female associates. He had nearly cried when he saw Fuji drank himself to oblivion during the first few months. He had nearly given in and went to beg Kunimitsu's return when Fuji drowned himself with the sorrowful music from his piano.

He wanted the both of them to move on and judging by what Sakuno had told him, Tezuka apparently had done so. Suddenly he felt so old, he felt all his 58 years. He never thought that so many things would happen. He never expected to gain so much and lost just as much. He was tired.

Closing the door quietly behind him, he left Fuji to his thoughts, with Kunimitsu, he had no words, and with his own son, he had less.

_Tezuka Kunimitsu, I love you, yesterday, today and tomorrow. But after tomorrow, I will forget about you. I will move on with my life. You will be my past, just as I was yours. _

Three days later, Fuji emerged from his room. He was thin, he was fatigued and his eyes were cold. Winter had descend upon him, everything that once bloomed in the spring now laid dead and cold underneath the cold, cold snow covering the soul and heart of Fuji.

Tezuka woke up with a jerk. His body was bathed in cold sweat; Fuji's name was a lingering scream in his heart and mouth. _Fuji, what happened? You were so cold…_


	11. fairytales so beautiful so deceitful

Disclaimer: POT doesn't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 11: fairytales so beautiful, so deceitful

The night was sinisterly dark. He crossed the city to the other end of it in his BMW. The road was clear; this was one of the most prestigious areas in the entire city, besides his neighborhood.

He didn't know what woke him up that night, but he had the strangest dream. He dreamt that Fuji had come to him, to bid him farewell. He was so scared at the calm and cold finality in Fuji's voice. He had lost him that was his first thought when he jerked awake. When he realized that it was but a dream, he tried to calm himself down, but his pounding heart refused to heed.

_Fuji, what happened? Talk to me, even if we are still eon's apart, talk to me like you used to, with your heart and your soul…please…_

"Ohayo, otoo-sama"

"Ah…ohayo"

He looked up to see Fuji walking into the morning room. He was reading his papers and his first look at his son was shocking. Pale and listless, his face looked too old for his young son. But what truly shocked him were Fuji's eyes, the brilliant blue eyes once shone with love and hope, now dulled into a pale wintry blue.

He knew that losing Tezuka would kill Fuji, but what he didn't expect was Fuji withdrawing deep into himself. And frankly speaking, for the first time in so many years, he feared, with a heart-numbing fear.

Desperately searching for a neutral topic, he opened and closed his mouth several times. But before he could say anything, Fuji had looked into his eyes with his similarly blue eyes.

"Nani…?"

"Ah…that is…"

"I am alright, Otoo-sama. I just need to be alone." Fuji didn't look up from his breakfast, but continued to eat with waning strength. "I…I wish to go to Paris for a little while. This place holds too many memories, memories I wanted to leave behind."

"Syuusuke…perhaps it is time to leave the past in its rightful place, but…I can't bear to see you so hurt…" he never got to finish.

"I have gotten over him. I will never cry for him, ever again! I…I realized that no matter how much I love…how much I loved him, he will never forgive me…I just want to leave and start all over again, without him." Fuji's eyes burned with icy calm and fierce determination.

"Hai…hai…anything you want…"

"Thank you. I will start packing now, I wish to leave on the next flight to Paris." With that, Fuji swept out of the room with a careless grace that mirrored so much like the senior Tezuka.

_Fuji my child, what had happened to you?_

As soon as he closed the breakfast room door behind him, he collapsed onto his knees. He thought he had gotten over Tezuka. He thought he had. With the three days alone with his thoughts and pep talks, he had finally stepped away from all the pain and misery and started to view all these with cold indifference.

He had succeeded, at least he thought he had, until his father mentioned Tezuka's name again.

For so long, he had linked his name with Tezuka, to him, Tezuka was his other half of soul and heart. Now, he had lost Tezuka, and to finally rid himself of the lingering grief, he had to rip half of his soul and heart out.

Paris, the home he had started from, now he was sickened to his bone, chilled to the depth of his meager soul, he wanted to go home, his real home.

He had grown up with little belief in fairytales. His broken family had jaded him, and then the subtle slights he had always received after people knew that he was an illegitimate child. _Bastard, son of a whore, filthy filth_ these were the words that had rang with constancy in his ears. It took him a while, but he had finally learnt to fend over those words with well-practiced moves and soon he was numb to those hurting insults.

His first encounter with _fairytales_ was the first time he met Tezuka. It was as if, for the very first time, his soul had found respite from the cruel and harsh world. With Tezuka, he had learnt the beauty of fairytales. He lived and breathed fairytales, he was happy, just as Cinderella had with her Prince, Snow White with hers and Aurora with her Prince Charming. Never had he knew such bliss. Never, had he felt so complete and so wondrously blessed.

Yet in the end, it was Tezuka who had taught him about the deceitful nature of Fairytales, again.

Happily ever after was only a lie to soothe children and bring momentarily peace to the weary. Happily ever after was only a fabricated beauty to blind and to deafen the desperate people.

How ironic, love like fairytales was nothing but a dream, yet everyone, me included, wished to live in it forever, hoping never to wake up. Fuji gave a bark of bitter laughter.

Once again, after so many months, he was standing at the same airport again, waiting to leave this place, this time, and his heart wasn't torn with indecision, this time, and his heart was just so cold and brittle, _if it was even there_ he thought resentfully.

He knew that Fuji was leaving today, but he didn't know what to do, what to say, what…to feel. Relief…? Pain…? Or perhaps just a sharp jab of loss…?

He standing behind a pillar, the only thing that now blocks them from one another, but deep down, both of them should know that distance was not the only barrier between them. Betrayal and past hurts were standing in their way, each loomed large and unbending. To get past them would take more time than any one of them could afford.

Slowly, he stepped from behind the pillar and stood directly behind Fuji. All Fuji had to do was to turn and he would see him. He waited and waited, with every passing second his heart clenched a little and his gut tightened a little. _Please, I am here…Fuji…_

When Fuji finally left for his flight to Paris, Tezuka finally realized what was wrong with their relationship. Actually, he had known, but he was too wrapped up in his own emotions to understand fully.

None of them ever look back, not once. When Fuji had left him, he had left without a backward glance. Similarly, the two times he had left Fuji, he too, left, never looking back. It was as if both of them were desperately looking forward, because both knew that the past was too painful to be reviewed again and again. Also because of that, both had lost so many chances at happiness.

Perhaps it was for the best, this final break-up, perhaps now both of them could move on and it should be for the best, shouldn't it?

He turned, his eyes burned painfully from staring so intently at Fuji's retreating back.

Slowly, as if the entire world was burdening down on his shoulders, he shuffled out. His face hard with fatigue and his heart heavy with pain, he left the airport which always seemed to take Fuji from him.

_Perhaps one day, you could be the one saying goodbye to me, but until then, Ja ne, Fuji Syuusuke. Go to Paris and find peace with your life and perhaps if Fate allows, we could be friends again._

He knew Tezuka was there, but he simply lacked the courage to just turn and see the face which had gave him great joys and pains alike. He knew, but he couldn't take that final step. To turn to him, that would be a capitulation, to Tezuka's hold over him, and to his determination to get over him.

He didn't believe in fairytales anymore, just as he would forget Tezuka. Love was a fool's feeling and a drunkard's words. No more, he would no longer be that fool and drunkard.

**Author's note: somehow the confrontation between Fuji and Tezuka can't really work out…perhaps the next chapter…this time I will be jumping straight to five years later. **

**Would Fuji really forget about his love, would he forgive Tezuka, after five years of absence, for a small discretion he caught him red-handed…oops… said too much…stay tune!**


	12. a moment of folly, five years of absence

Disclaimer: POT and Hunter x hunter don't and will never belong to me

Chapter 12: a moment of folly, five years of absence

Five years later

Shivering, from anticipation or from fear, he didn't know, but he had come back, that's for sure.

_Tezuka, I am back._

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The tall and brown-haired man strode across the office arrogantly. There were many who had admired his tall and distinguished looks, some who were jealous of him, few who dared crossed him. He was the highest active executive and no one should forget that.

He was well-respected for his powerful capability within the company and he was well-loved for his charming abilities within the bedrooms of the ladies. He was well-received by all the matrons of the upper-society he lived in. Old and new acquaintances sought his presence and tried to rub off him. He was after all; the most prominent bachelor and every ambitious mama wanted him for their daughters.

Sometimes he was saved by his good friend, Ann-san, but sometimes, he was simply left to fend for himself in the company of all the greedy mamas and simpering young ladies. Tonight, he was supposed to attend this party his old friend and junior, Ryoma Ezichen was holding in his penthouse. Ryoma was going to get leg-shackled tomorrow and tonight would his bachelor night.

For so long, Ezichen had resisted his lecherous father and gone on with his life, swearing that he would not marry for looks and _size_ only. What he didn't expect was that he would so soon fall into the fast-moving river of love. Eiji Kikumaru, who had always teased the arrogant brat and always been there for him, finally had his feelings reciprocated. He was pleasantly stunned that Ryoma had readily accepted his proposal and agreed to marry him.

Trying to finish a week's worth of work was a taxing work, but he wanted a break from all these weary tasks, and God knows he deserved and needed it. His boss, the mysterious Dan Chou was always wise in using the talents he had and Tezuka's workload from him was the best proof of his capability.

He sighed again. _Fuji, I missed you so much._

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Neon Nostrad Tezuka was pacing her room. Her hands ached from clenching and opening them again and again. She was meeting her lover again, but she wasn't interested in any romantically-related topic, no, she was here to talk about her son, their son.

_Damn you! Kuroro, where are you?_

As she was angrily pacing the luxuriously decorated room, her thoughts swiveled back and fro between her son and her lover. She was worried, her son was working so hard in his company, and what did he do, he gave her son _more work_, what a doting father, she thought with a sneer.

He stepped into the room and smiled when he caught sight of the pacing woman, twenty five years hadn't taught her patience.

Calmly, as if he wasn't going to meet the woman he loved with his soul and couldn't have, he walked into the room. Moving directly to the mini bar in the room, he poured a glass of sherry.

She looked at the incorrigible man, who had her heart for so long, yet never knew it nor act upon it. Now, when she wanted to see him, telling him specifically, that it was to talk about _their_ son, he had acted like his usual self, a JERK!

Walking, no perhaps stalking was more appropriate, she went to his side and was about to open her to give him a piece of her mind, her ruby lips were immediately captured in a kiss. Her anger and anxiety disappeared the moment her lips touched his. Clichéd it may seem, but somehow, in this man's arms, she felt special, she _was_ special. Nothing mattered, nothing save him and their closeness.

She had never regretted loving this man and giving him a son, but what she regretted was her decision to marry Kuroto Tezuka. Never had she thought that her marriage to her husband would mean a lifetime of torture. She never thought she would lose to a mere flower lady, she never thought she would lose to Kuroro.

Shivering with love for this man, with his inky black hair and eyes, he was the dream she lived this past twenty-five years. Yet, never once, not even during their rendezvous, had he spoken of any love for her. She was a beauty when she was twenty, now she was still a sight to behold, with her trim waist and her fine features, which only enhanced with age. She was sure that she was still attractive to both young and old, but Kuroro never sighed over her beauty, never fawned over her charm or fell at her feet pledging love and undying feelings. No, all he did was smile and gathered her in his arms. That was what he need to do to make her forget herself, forget the world and her loveless marriage.

Reminding herself that she was here for business, she ruthlessly pushed from his arms and crossed her arms over her chest. Tapping the carpeted floor with her five-hundred dollars sandals, she presented a charming yet lethal image. She was now the president of a multi-million company, she was ruthless, she was calculating and she was the boss.

Kuroro sighed; he knew that whenever she went into that mode, no monkey business, no sire, it would be all work and no fun. However, grudgingly, he admired this woman, who he loved so long and so well, was a formidable business-lady. With her pin-sharp accruement, she had bought and sold several companies, each one earned her several millions. She seemed to be able to see which company was in danger of bankrupting itself, and bought it over with the lowest market price, sent in her trusty managers and executives, regenerated it and sold it at the highest market price. What a lady, what a woman and what an opponent.

They had been competing firms for ages, yet they never bankrupt each other, not even her husband's, which was a pity. The challenges they each posed to one another only made the other party strived and advanced even faster. What an odd pair they made, he mused, but he never regretted seducing her when she was but a green girl. He had found peace and love with her. Now, he was satisfied to see his son growing to become more and more like his parents. Kunimitsu, how he wished to see his face and tell him openly of his true heritage, he wanted to tell him that his real name should have been Kunimitsu Lucifer.

But for now, he was satisfied to know of his progress and soon, he was thinking of sending in his most trusted executives from his headquarters in York Shin. Perhaps not all, for Kunimitsu to learn the reins, perhaps it would only take one…he gave a bark of laughter when he thought of his most _psychotic_ executive. Yes, it would only take him to prepare Kunimitsu.

With that idea lodged in his mind, he turned to face his love, gently steering her towards the seat, he prepared himself for the foray his beloved love had prepared. What a perfect plan, and what a perfect master to teach his little son some realities.

"Nani?" he asked in his soft and silky voice, "tutor your son? Dan Chou, you are so kind…but are you not afraid that I might enjoy _destroying_ him?" his sensual mouth turned up in a mocking leer.

"I wanted Kunimitsu to be the best, with my genes, he might already be the best, but I want…_a little of polishing_," Kuroro smiled with his usual nonchalance, "perhaps, you might not be able to _destroy_ him as easily as you thought…" he let the juicy bait dangled in front of the bloodthirsty man.

For four years now, he had been constantly challenged by this man. He was so determined to prove that he was better than the mysterious Dan Chou, at every meeting, every Appraisal of Proposal, he always say the most outrageous things, his challenges so obvious within his eyes.

Hysoka ran his tongue along his lips, he was envisioning a man with the Dan Chou's abilities and he almost cried out in anticipation. He had wanted to challenge the Dan Chou, since that was still impossible as Dan Chou had somehow managed to sidestep all his challenges. A little appetizer would be nice, he thought with his usual mocking grin.

"Fine, I accept it…" running a loving hand over his recently dyed-orange hair, he turned and walked towards the door, "Dan Chou."

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Tezuka junior couldn't believe his eyes or ears when the impeccably-dressed man announced that he was his sempai and would be his tutor, at the Dan Chou's order of course.

He was outraged, he was angered, he wanted to ask that rude man to leave, but he couldn't, without risking the Dan Chou's wrath. So, begrudging he asked the man to be seated and submitting himself to the scrutiny.

Nodding to himself as if he was satisfied with the _good_ he was inspecting, he proceeded to list out the _training_ he had prepared for him.

_What a delicious treat, so grumpy, so innocent and so young_ if Tezuka had heard what he was thinking, he would be a dead man by now. He was willing now to train this man to become the next Dan Chou. He deserved it and he, Hysoka would make sure he could do it. With all intents to irritate him, he talked to him as if he was a retarded five year-old. He watched Tezuka's limit reached, stretched and finally snapped, silently chuckling.

With a cold stare and a finger pointing the door, he _directed_ Hysoka out of the room. Yet, that infuriating man walked towards him and closed in on him. His heart pounded so hard, he was surprised that he didn't hear it. This feeling, was so familiar, he had felt the same with…Fuji. The name no longer brought him to tears, no, now, all there was, was but a lingering sense of grief.

"Ma…matte, Nani…" he sputtered when Hysoka was directly in front of him and he had to look up to look into his hypnotizing eyes. His beautifully-chiseled face filled his entire vision as he could felt the hot breathe on his face. He wanted to shove from him, yet his legs refused to obey.

As if eons had passed, finally Hysoka's lips found his, so warm, he thought, so like Fuji's…allowing himself to be drawn into the kiss, he felt his tightly-curled fingers relaxed and his eyes started to drop.

_Fuji…Hysoka…Fuji…Fuji…_

For a while, he thought that he was in Fuji's arms again, the feeling was so familiar, although the owner of this pair of lips was entirely different from Fuji. Fuji was gentle, Hysoka was brutal, Fuji was kind, Hysoka thrived on pain but both felt so similar…tears stung his eyes…

_Fuji…Fuji…Fuji…_

"Tezuka-sama, Fuji-sama is here to…_oh my god…_gom…gomen…" the secretary sputtered at the kissing couple.

As if jerked from a trance, Tezuka torn his burning lips from the now smiling ones, he looked up and saw him…Fuji had came home. And he was staring at his swollen lips and somehow Tezuka wanted to explain, to clarify, to…say sorry…

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Fuji turned, his inside so cold, again…_why after so long, I can still hurt…why is it always you, Kunimitsu, who managed to make me feel again…why do I always have to see the evidence that you never love me…what a silly fool I still am…_

"Fuji, maten…" _matte…I can explain…I can…I think…_

**Author's note: gomen ne, I was being influence by my certain friend, so I am currently watching Hunter x Hunter…sugoi ne! I think I will slowly introduce other characters in as well, due to my friend's relentless _persuading_ I put in Hysoka to be one of the main characters…frankly speaking I like Hysoka too, but Killua was sugoi too…but he is too young to appear as a main character…so he should be a minor one for this fiction…next one I guess…but please tell me if you like the crossover… not like I would change if you don't like it, but please…like it…and do watch Hunter x Hunter…one word…SUGOI!**

**Perhaps everyone think that I would end this story in my usual style, but I am not sure, I was thinking of a happy ending with all the sappy stuff…ha…perhaps you guys can tell me if you like a happy ending or angst? Perhaps alternate endings…? Do tell me, and I will see how I will continue this story…**

**And don't worry, this story won't end so soon, I promise my friend…so stay tuned…I guess I said this last chapter…but still…stay tuned…ha…JA NE…!**


	13. Showdown

Disclaimer: POT and HXH don't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 13: Showdown

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Hysoka smiled, his lips curled ever so slightly at the sides. He was amused, no, more than amused. He kissed the boy simply because he wanted to see his reaction. And he was shocked that he had managed to resist him for a little while, but somehow, he had the feeling that Tezuka wasn't kissing him, it was as if he was kissing someone else. That baffled him no end.

He shrugged and forgot about the incident totally. Picking his phone up, he dialed the Dan Chou's number, he needed to inform him about his first "training" with Tezuka.

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The pain in his chest was hard to ignore, but all this years, all this lonely years should have taught him how to control his emotions and pain. He thought he was over Tezuka, and this trip back to Japan to see him was a kind of evidence and a kind of test to himself, a proof that he was officially over Tezuka Kunimitsu. But as usual, he was made the fool.

Tezuka apparently had no problem getting over him.

When the door opened to show the entwined figures (it's just Fuji's imagination, Tezuka and Hysoka are just kissing…) the wall he built around his heart crumbled, painfully and totally. The pain and the bitterness flooded his heart and he wanted to gasp for air.

He wanted to scream at Tezuka, for…for…it was then he realized that he no longer had any right to ask anything of him.

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Tezuka slumped into his chair after chasing Hysoka from his room. His heart throbbed. For so long, his heart had laid in a deep sleep, the pain was constantly in his heart, but somehow, it never surfaced, until today.

When he saw the shattered look in Fuji's eyes, he wanted to cry, he wanted to kill the person who had caused that look, realizing belatedly that the person was none other than him.

Perhaps it was the emotion that still shone in Fuji's eyes, perhaps it was the feeling again, he felt as if he hadn't lost him yet. It was as if…as if Fuji had forgiven him and knew that Tezuka had forgiven him as well…but he could be wrong…as usual.

He didn't know what had possessed him when he didn't push Hysoka away, perhaps he wanted to feel…close…to someone…he needed to feel needed again…he needed to feel human again.

Somehow, Fuji Syuusuke had always managed to find him at the worst time and in the most damaging situation. He wanted to erase the hurt he thought he saw in Fuji's eyes. But it was too late after all.

It was time to get over Fuji Syuusuke, once and for all.

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By the time Fuji reached his home, he was calm again. All his pain and torment was well-hidden beneath his smiling façade.

He smiled at his father, chatted happily with the servants and cried bitterly in his room.

_Tezuka…Kuni-chan…I…I can't give up…I love you so…even after so long, my love hadn't faded…it was buried in my determination to get over you…even in my self-denial period, I had known, I could never forget you…gomen…gomen nasai…_

After long hours of thinking and… planning, Fuji emerged from his room. His eyes were sore from crying but his heart was quivering from excitement. _I will win you back…Tezuka Kunimitsu!_

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While our…devious Fuji was plotting on Tezuka's "demise", the latter was still peacefully unaware that someone was going to knock some sense into him and make him see the LIGHT…so as to speak.

Returning home, Tezuka was tired and worn out by the day's events. He wanted some peace and quiet, but apparently with his bad luck, his wish wasn't granted. The moment he entered the apartment, the telltale smell of his mother's perfume overwhelmed him and he sighed.

The double shock was the other man standing at his window looking rather bored while his mother was trying to wear a hole into his new carpet.

When he turned, Tezuka's heart trembled and started to pound. The man seemed so similar to him…his nose, his chin even his eyes (sorry that's not true…it is just for the sake of the story…gomen nasai). _Who the hell is he?_

"Konnichiwa Okasama." He said blandly, his shock and uncertainty was well-hidden.

"Ah…Kunimitsu, come, let me introduce you to your…your Dan Chou, the president of the company you are working for, Mr. Kuroro Lucifer." Although the hesitancy was mild, Tezuka caught it nonetheless.

"Pleased to meet you …Dan Chou"

"Me too, your name had preceded you, Kunimitsu…Tezuka"

Again, the hesitancy caught Tezuka by surprise.

He stood there; looking at the man he had worked for five long years and had never seen until today.

_It is like looking into a mirror._

That thought had sent shockwaves through his body, mirror, yes; the man looked so darned like him. Unconsciously he clenched his fists tightly; the movement did not go unnoticed by Kuroro.

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It was a surprise to look at a person you known were your son for the first time in so long. And the surprise was reflected clearly in Kunimitsu's eyes. But he held the advantage of knowing the truth.

He had avoided seeing his son for fear of such things happening. With Kunimitsu's intelligence and his apparent similarities in features and build to him, it would be very easy to put two together and see how things really were.

He was finally ready for this showdown after all this years. He wanted to have his son back and it took him awhile to convince Neon.

He was pleased with the report Hysoka had given him this evening, but the boy Fuji had troubled him. He knew about the twisted love affair between Kunimitsu and that boy. He wanted to question Hysoka more about the matter, about the boy who had pushed Kunimitsu into a working frenzy for five long years. Yet he knew that if he had shown too much interest, both his son and that boy might become Hysoka's next preys.

Deciding that he could obtain more answers from his son, he managed to persuade Neon to bring him here and see Kunimitsu's reaction. So far, he was still satisfied with the reaction. Kunimitsu wasn't questioning him directly about his connection to him and his mother, this shown that he was still hesitant about bursting the bubble.

In order to checkmate the situation first, he shot the first question.

"How did the meeting with Hysoka went today?"

A series of emotions darkened Kunimitsu's eyes, surprise, embarrassment and pain. The moment Kunimitsu lowered his eyes; Kuroro knew that he was thinking about Fuji Syuusuke.

"Anoo…Hysoka…it went well"

"Saa…fine then, you will continue your training with Hysoka then, I intend to have you as my new executive president for the Japan branch."

Kunimitsu looked up in surprise.

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He finally admitted that this man was his biological father when he ran out of excuses for their similarities.

Judging by the tension within the room, he decided that it would be wise not to pierce through the lies and fabrications first. Wanting to turn the table on the Dan…his father, he planned his first question.

Again, he was slower than him; the question caught him unaware, he thought, no, he knew that Hysoka had reported the meeting to him.

Then he was further surprised when he said that he wanted to promote him to an executive president. No one gets promoted from an executive manager to an executive president without the stamp of approval from the entire board of major shareholders.

So he asked the most logical question, "Why?"

He almost sputtered when he had his answer.

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"Because one day you will take over the company as my heir"

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"WHAT!"


	14. Call my name three times

Disclaimer: POT and HXH don't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 14: Call my name three times…

Clenching his fists tighter, he stared at the impossible man. Tezuka thought that he would at least try to be more considerate and not simply blurt out their relation. He had resigned to never knowing about his biological father, and coming face to face with the latter without any preparation was a double shock to him.

For him to acknowledge him like that was a _triple_ shock.

"What…what are you talking about…" no, he wasn't ready to accept the new identity…not so soon, not when his heart was still raw…

"You are my son…Lucifer Kunimitsu."

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Fuji was staring at his cactus again. Staring at his cactus used to give him peace, but now, all he could focus on was how to get back Kunimitsu. Such a big gap yawned between them, some created by him, and some by Kunimitsu, yet now, he must bridge this gap by himself, with love and trust.

But the point was how to go about doing that, how to bring two shattered souls back into one, how to bring back happiness once forgotten, how to trust love again…

_Kuni-chan, what must I do to bring you back…tell me please…Kuni-chan_

The door to his room swung open, Fuji twisted in his seat to see who came in, his face gentled and his smile was gracing his face again.

"Ah... Kurapica, anything I can help?"

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Kurapica stared at the face which resembled his much, the gentle smile and the finely-scrupled features. Both of them had taken after their very beautiful mothers, who were twins, and that was why others had said that they could be passed off as twins themselves, if not for the difference in their hair color.

"Iie, I was just going down for a glass of milk and happen to see your light. What are you thinking, you looked…" at Fuji's raised brow, "perplexed."

"Betsuni, watashi wa …watashi…" _I was just missing Kuni-chan again_. Kurapica didn't have to hear his cousin say the words to hear them. He had seen that look briefly when Fuji thought no one was looking. But every time, Kurapica saw that lost and shattered look, he wanted to kill someone, namely Tezuka Kunimitsu.

When he was visiting Fuji five years ago, just before Fuji had broke up with Tezuka, he saw something he had not seen for a long time. A truly happy Fuji, his smiles were true and his laughter carefree. For a while he thought that Tezuka Kunimitsu could give him the happiness Kurapica himself couldn't. But he was wrong.

He wanted to see that Fuji again, he was sick of the sad and moody Fuji he saw after the break up. Whenever Fuji turned from his offer of comfort, he heart broke a little, whenever Fuji stared at a person who resembled Tezuka in a slightest way, his soul cried a little.

Kurapica knew that Fuji had tried to forget about Tezuka, he was determined to forget all about the person who had broke his heart, but tucked within some space in Fuji's heart, the memories of Tezuka was held alive.

Staring at the face he had wanted to hold and touch for as long as he could remember, he had to remind himself that Fuji was never his to cherish and that had been made clear by Fuji. He wasn't good enough for Fuji, not by a long shot. _But it doesn't mean that Tezuka Kunimitsu is…he made Fuji cried, he made Fuji sad…he is bad…_

Shaking his head to clear that snide voice, he moved closer to his cousin. Stopping at a distance where he couldn't simply reach out and brush away his bangs, he studied Fuji's face.

When he looked into his eyes, he was taken aback.

Determination and a strong will to fight on burned with such intensity in his eyes, he wanted something and Kurapica could just begin to guess who. He didn't understand, not at all, how anyone can forgive so easily, how Fuji can shrug off the pain and the betrayal he had felt and moved on, ready to give Tezuka a chance again. Yet in his heart, the answer was simple, Fuji wanted to love again, for that, he was willing to move past his hurt and accept the risk of loving again, of loving Tezuka Kunimitsu, again.

"No, nothing really, I just want to see what are you doing up so late…can't sleep..."_ again?_

"…hai…I was…I was thinking about what happened…and what I should…no, what I must do…"

"You have already decided, haven't you…" when Fuji's head jerked up in surprise, he laughed, "It was _that _obvious…"

"Hmmm…I must have let my guard down…" a small smile flickered across Fuji's face and Kurapica knew why, it was Tezuka's favorite phrase.

"So…what would you do now…what would you do to get back Tezuka Kunimitsu…"

"I will beg and cheat and fight for him…and I will never let go, again…"

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"Ohaiyoo gozaimasu, Tezuka-sama" Tezuka's secretary greeted him with her usual smile. Barely sparing a nod for his loyal subordinate, he moved into his office and sat heavily in his chair. Last night was a torture…last night…

He managed to survive last night, but barely, after the admission from his biological father, he ran off. It was a coward's way out, but there is really nothing he could do then. For a moment then, he had thought he would be suffocated by the tension in the room. He had to run, had to leave that hellish place.

Somehow, he had gone to Fuji's house, _his old house_. The house he had spent so many years in, the house that held so much memories, now it were just another building to him, another painful past to him. Not wanting anyone to see him standing like a lost puppy outside the house, like a stranger barred from all that were familiar to him, he left quickly.

After three hours, he decided that even his mother would be tired of waiting for him; he went back to his apartment. When he saw that his…his _father_ had also left without so much as a note, he was a little disappointed. The moment he realized that, he shook himself hard. It was hard enough with Fuji back; he couldn't afford to have his _father_ piled on him too.

Closing his eyes for a moment trying to shut out the world, he tried to tell himself that all this wouldn't matter in the end. He had said that he would give Fuji up, hadn't he? And he thought he had, until he saw him again. He hadn't.

_Fuji, Fuji Syuusuke…why must you haunt me, why must you haunt me so…I want to be free of you and heartache…_

_But he was once your love wasn't he?_ Another voice argued within his already tormented mind._ Once you were willing to sacrifice all for him, weren't you? You loved him and you still love him!_

Shaking his head in denial he pushed up from his seat. He couldn't see what was wrong, to love or not to love?

Life was full of irony, once he was willing to forget, but his heart told him otherwise, now he wasn't ready to forget, his heart wanted him to free himself of all the pain and memories.

_Fuji, why now? When I was about to let go when I could live again…for my own sake, and not in your shadow…_

_Call my name three times and I will be there…_

A promise that he had forgotten till now…

_Fuji…Fuji…Fuji…_

"Tezuka-sama, there's someone here to see you…"


	15. dinner for three

Disclaimer: POT and HXH don't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 15: Dinner for 3

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"Tezuka-sama, there's someone here to see you…"

Swiftly he jerked his head up, expecting to see one brown-haired man walking in; he was stunned when he saw the psychotic grin and the mocking slanted eyes.

Groaning inwardly, he stood and greeted Hysoka as pleasantly as he could. But when Hysoka smiled wickedly at him, all the memories from yesterday came rushing back. For the first time in his entire life, Tezuka blushed. (won't it be so cutise!)

For a man of his age, Tezuka was terribly innocent. He believed that such intimate acts of love should be shared between two people in love and not…in an office with a stranger!

Praying that Hysoka didn't notice his blush, he motioned the older man to a seat and then carefully sat himself in his chair. He tried to look composed but he failed miserably when he looked up and saw the mischievous glint in Hysoka's eyes.

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Hysoka wanted to laugh; he wasn't fooled by Tezuka's façade. But he was reprimanded by Dan Chou last night, so he had to keep his hands to himself, not that he was _that_ interested in that little innocent boy.

"Kunimitsu-_chan_, I believe we were at the management problem yesterday before we were…_distracted_…" this earned the playful executive a glare. Hysoka decided that the lesson of patience and tolerance yesterday was enough. So today Hysoka planned to test his flexibility and speed in fixing a problem.

Ignoring the twitch which appeared on Tezuka's cheek, he threw a small but hard to handle problem at him. Expecting him to at least use ten to fifteen minutes to work it out, he sat back, all ready to relax. But again Tezuka managed to shock him.

"This problem could be solved readily by a simple change of the management level, by introducing a new human resource manager to assist the present one, the credibility of the judgment would increase greatly. Also bringing in another assessor for the annual system check would be a way to solve this; otherwise you could simply allow more transparency within the department itself."

Hysoka looked at the boy with something akin to admiration. It had took him five minutes to come up with that three solutions and the last he suggested was one he had only a brief idea of but not enough to put into actions. Tezuka was simply like his father, and that made him a worthy opponent.

Nodding his head at his answers, he threw another tougher question at him.

So, this went on, slowly, they built up a comfortable discussion.

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Forgetting everything about yesterday, Tezuka was pleasantly amused and challenged with all the problems Hysoka had posted to him. All his questions were intelligent and worked his brain to think beyond his normal range.

The time passed so quickly that he was shocked when Hysoka suddenly stood up and excused himself.

"A dinner meeting with an old friend…"

Looking at the back view of his _teacher_, he grinned, what a day, and what a way to go!

Then, his grin faded, like the sun into night. _Fuji…Syuu…_

Leaning back, he took off his spectacles and rubbed his hands wearily over his face. It appeared that he wanted to forgive no matter what his heart said. It may be another disappointment, it may hurt again, but he wanted to try, just this one last time.

Slapping his face lightly, he mustered up the energy to continue with his usual work.

Throughout the entire day, Fuji was constantly at the back of his mind, faint, but still there. It was his image; it was his presence that had pushed Tezuka now with his work. Slowly, the day passed, with Tezuka missing his lunch, due to the meeting with Hysoka, and then his dinner as he let his secretary off early.

Finally after finishing the report he would need next week, he locked the door to his office and left. In his new BMW, he leaned on the wheel. Smelling the faint leathery smell of the seats, he allowed himself to take a short rest.

Jerking awake from his slumber, he fumbled for his ringing cell phone.

"Moshi moshi, Tezuka here…"

"Nani…hai, hai…I am free…no…I can make it…"

_Fuji…Fuji…Fuji…_

It worked…

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He played with the water glass, he rearranged the plates and he fumbled with his tie. He was nervous, he deserved to be nervous. But his need, his love for Tezuka had pushed him to call him, his need to see what future would be like with Tezuka, his need to hear Tezuka's voice again had pushed him here that day.

_I will beg and cheat and fight for him…and I will never let go, again…_

He had almost forgotten about the pain of waiting and not knowing if the person you were waiting would turn up.

_Tezuka…Tezuka…Tezuka…_

_I haven't forgotten about that promise; have you, Kuni-chan?_

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Driving at a most suicidal speed, Tezuka Kunimitsu had taken one turn and another. For so long he had forgotten about the anticipation of meeting someone…someone you love.

A sharp turn lay ahead but instead of slowing down, he pushed the accelerator even harder. _Faster…faster…_ the demon in his head chanted…like a possessed man he slammed the wheel to one side sharply.

Tires shrieked in protest of the torture their driver was putting them through, and dust flew as the car slide across the road. If he was a little less lucky, he would have hit the metal borders encompassing the road, if he was a little less skilled, he would have ended his life, leaving Fuji waiting forever.

That thought struck fear into his heart and he slowed down a little.

_Fuji, matte…matte!_

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Ann Tachibanna sat stonily across her date. She was bored; all her date talked about was his cars. _Relax Ann, relax…give that guy a chance…chance…chance…OR NOT!_

Rudely dragging her chair back, she stood up. Giving her date a cool smile, she walked away. Judging by the similar dragging sound, she deduced that her date had also stood up and should be right at her heels now.

But what she didn't expect was her date getting angry and tried to stop her.

"Matte Tachibana-san, where are you going?"

"Let go of me, you oaf!"

"Nani…teme!"

She struggled to get her arm out, all the while shouting insults at the mauling oaf. But he was persistent. So the struggle went on…and on…and on…

"You better let go of the lady."

"Huh? Fuji-sama!"

_Fuji…Fuji Syuusuke…the heir of Tezuka clan…Mitsu-kun's love…_

"Hai…Hai...go...gomen...gomen nasai!" looking into the cold blue eyes of Fuji Syuusuke, it was no wonder that man released Ann faster than letting go a pot of cactus. He left just as abruptly.

"Konnichiwa…Fuji-kun…or should I call you Tezuka Syuusuke?"

"Iie, my father and I had decided that it would be for the best not to legally acknowledge me now."

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Fuji was busy stressing himself out, when he heard the small commotion coming from the adjoining VIP room. It took him awhile to figure out the voices. And it took him another while to decide whether to save the girl.

_Tezuka's fiancée, I have forgotten about her…_

When he saw the man was a disreputable guy who he had the misfortune of meeting during a business dinner, he acted.

His father's wealth and status had struck fear into most, and that little pest of a guy was just new money. How Tachibana-san ended up with him was beyond Fuji.

For a long while, they stared at one another, the hurriedly left guy was nothing but a ripple in their staring competition.

In the end, he ended up with her in his VIP room.

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"Gomen, Fuji…I am late…Ann-chan?"

"Yo Mitsu-kun!"

"Saa Tezuka-san…you remember your _fiancée_?"

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**Author's note: decided that it would be fun to have a little bit of laughter and humor…so…Ann-chan is back…**

**Hmm…someone asked if this would be a 20-chapter story…my answer is…ya, supposedly…but it would depends…chances are that I would exceed 20…**


	16. New Allies

Disclaimer: POT and HXH don't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 16: New allies

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"Ann-chan, please explain it to Fuji-san"

"Explain? Soo… _the engagement_…"

"Hai…"

"Neh, Fuji-kun, we broke it off five years..." with a cold stare and a subtle clearing of throat, Ann caught herself.

"Hai, I decided that Mitsu-kun is too stiff for me…he likes to lecture me, neh, Fuji-kun, did you know he nags a lot?"

"Tachibana-san, let's take a seat, it would be _rude_ to make our host stand." With that, he carefully but firmly steered her to her seat.

For the first time in so many years, they sat across each other, and for the first time in so many years, both finally stopped and saw what they had been running away from.

What they saw scared them silly.

Love that was what they were running from,

The dream they once lived in,

The faith they once had,

The past they shared,

And the love that never fade.

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The tension in the air seemed to be thickening; all Ann could do was chatter away, desperately trying to cover up the silence which lurked like a trap between Fuji and Tezuka.

Ann knew, from one of Tezuka's drunken ramblings, that the both of them once shared heart and soul. Suddenly she felt a pang in her chest, although they seemed to be distanced and cool towards one another, their eyes reflected what their hearts felt clearly. No matter what they say, both held the other party close to their hearts.

As an outsider she saw clearly what was going on, although Tezuka had never admitted it before or even show an indication that he still cared about Fuji, she knew that deep within Tezuka's heart Fuji still remained number one.

After the abrupt proposal, Tezuka was a little awkward around her, but upon some clearing up from Ann, he finally fell back to his usual self with Ann. Yet oddly, after she had made it clear to him that she wasn't really interested in a relationship; he seemed to be more opened up with her.

She was surprised when five years ago, shortly after the mock proposal, Tezuka had called her out for a drink. What surprised her more was the pale visage of Tezuka; he seemed faded and…washed out. At the expensive pub, Tezuka told her all about his life and how it got entwined with Fuji's. It took that one story to stir Ann's heart. Since then, she couldn't resist Tezuka's invitations out for a drink. But she never heard Fuji's name again.

So she was shaken when Fuji appeared in front of her that night. She didn't know that Fuji was back; in fact she was hoping he won't be back anytime soon.

Fuji was a threat.

He's a rival.

Ann had fallen in love with Tezuka Kunimitsu.

Five years ago, in one particular pub.

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_Fuji…Syuu…you are here again…so near like before, but the gap between us…what would it take to breach it?_

_I missed you…no matter what I said or thought before…time had proven something…time had told me I couldn't live without you for long…_

_I want a chance…one last try at this…Syuu…_

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_He came, he came…he is so near like before, I could almost hear his heartbeats. But lies and distance had separated us for so long…is my love enough to breach the gap that yawns between us?_

_I want you back Kuni-chan…no matter how I try; my heart wouldn't let you go…_

_Let's try again…Kuni-chan…_

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They were still staring at one another, with the need to put down all defenses so evident in their eyes. Feeling a twinge in her heart, she again forcefully smiled and told another stupid joke.

She knew, no matter how she wanted to deny it, they were just waiting, waiting for the smallest sign, looking for the smallest indication that the other party reciprocate their feeling. Somehow her presence seemed to stick out like a sore thumb.

Frenziedly she tried to think of another topic to talk about. Even though she knew that this two belong together, her heart was crying out to her to try to stop it. She was in love with Tezuka Kunimitsu, didn't that gave her some right?

Looking up briefly from her plate, she saw something that made her feel suffocated.

Such love, such intense love, shining so brightly, even beneath all the doubts and past hurts, seemed to fill out all the distance that gapped between them. Just one word, one look and one touch, they would find themselves again, with all the love they had tried to ignore. Suddenly the jealousy she felt and tried to curb flared. She wanted to break them up; she wanted to claim Tezuka as her own.

But her conscious poked fun at her, _how could you even think of breaking them up! They are in love with one another!_

_So that means I have to sacrifice? It's not fair…I love Kuni-kun too…I can't just give up like that…_

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Fuji looked at Tezuka. So many words left unspoken, so many apologies left unsaid and so little time left. For a moment, Fuji regretted leaving five years ago. Although it wasn't obvious, he could see the possessive way Tachibana-san acted towards Kuni-chan.

And at that moment, when he saw Tezuka couldn't tear his eyes away from Ann, a snide little voice mocked at his attempt to repair their relationship. If it weren't him who initiated this meeting, he would have left immediately. He couldn't bear seeing the admiration in Ann's eyes, but it was the appreciation he saw in Tezuka's eyes that hurt him the most.

Lowering his eyes swiftly, he missed the longing look Tezuka gave him. Fuji wanted to ask Tezuka, he wanted an answer. _Can we start anew, with all the lies and doubts put behind us?_ Yet he never did.

The night dragged on, Fuji's nerves were frayed and his patience worn thin. Perhaps their love didn't deserve a second chance, perhaps _he _didn't deserve one. Then why was he here, watching the attraction between Tezuka and Ann, breaking his heart anew.

What had he done to deserve this, what had he done to have his love looking at other girl…

_You lied to him, right from the start, by retaining part of the truth, you were cheating him. You lost the right to have him trust you the day you left him, again._

_I lost him, haven't I?_

_Tezuka, I lost you haven't I?_

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He was waiting again like before. Waiting for a small hint, a little clue that Fuji wanted to start anew, he sat in his seat, his eyes lingered overly long on Fuji. But whenever Fuji seemed to sense his stare and look up to look at him, Tezuka would immediately look at Ann. Ann was a safe outlet.

For the past five years, Ann Tachibana was a constant he could rely on. Never had she failed him, when he needed alcohol to numb him after watching Fuji leave, she was there. And in the years to come, when he needed a person to listen to him, when his work worn him out and when he missed Fuji almost painfully, she had always been there for him.

He knew that Ann had feelings for him, but he was too…too cowardly to face them. So he always used coolness to thaw her, but when he felt the aching hollowness in his heart, he would reach out to her. Her cheerfulness and her sensitivity made her the best drinking companion.

Yet when the next day came and he would remember drowning in alcohol and her presence the night before, he would cringe. He was using her, for he missed the feeling of someone paying attention to him, just him, not the executive, not the rich playboy, not anyone except himself.

After Fuji left him, he lived in a state of half-sleeping and half-dead. He used his work to occupy his days, but when night fell, he couldn't make out who was he, what his past, his present and his future would be. Living in a world stripped bare by the absence of Fuji, he was dying slowly. Yet he spent his waking hours ignoring that fact and his sleeping time to feed his hungry soul with dreams of Fuji.

Now he had the chance to see and talk to Fuji again, he seemed to lose the ability to tell Fuji about his love. No matter how his heart screamed for Fuji to hear of his pain and need, his mouth would say the words. To do so and not get anything back, it would be a torture; it would kill him for sure.

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Leaning against the window, Kurapica saw what Ann had saw, the love and the need to reach out.

It hurt him, it pained him, and it strengthened his resolve.

_Ann Tachibana, the class one heiress, was in love with that pitiful person, that person who had hurt and abandoned Fuji. _

For the first time in his life, his lips curled into a mocking and mirthless smile.

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With the debate still going on in her head, it took her awhile to realize that her cell phone was ringing. Excusing herself from the table, she walked behind a potted plant, all the while, her eyes glued to the now alone couple in the room.

"Moshi Moshi…hai, I am…"

"…I see…alright then, I would expect you there then…"

"Thank _you_…ten thirty at the back of my house. I am looking forward to meet you…Kurapica-san."

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"Me too, I hope we can deal well together…"

"Ja, _partner_…"

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	17. Second Chance at Love

Disclaimer: POT and HXH don't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 17: Second chance at love

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After Tachibana left to answer to a phone call, Fuji was left alone with Tezuka. This was his last chance, last chance to change both his and Tezuka's destinies. _Or the last chance to hold hope_…

"Saa…Kuni-chan…"

At the endearment, Tezuka's head shot up and his sight collided with Fuji's intense blue ones.

"How do you like the food, are they to your liking…Kuni-chan?"

"Hai…" came the dry and cool reply.

Fuji wasn't discouraged. Suddenly he realized that he had nothing to lose. And Tezuka was like this, it was his usual way, always trying to act nonchalant.

_But that was before he met you and fell in love with you, you made him smile, you taught him to laugh…and then you pushed him back to that same dark abyss you helped pulled him out from._

"Neh, Kuni-chan…what would you like for desert? Wasabe ice cream…?"

If Fuji looked close enough, he would see the sweat drop on Tezuka's head.

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_He called me Kuni-chan…just like before… is that a hint, can I take it as a hint?_

Looking into the serious blue eyes of his lost love Tezuka couldn't find any reason to doubt Fuji anymore. Praying that he was right, he reached slowly across the table and clasped Fuji's hand. Finding it cold and clammy, Tezuka allowed a brief smile to grace his otherwise stern face.

"I like green tea if you please…Syuu…"

For a moment, Tezuka thought he had mistaken Fuji's words and actions, his heart pounded so hard and his breaths came in short puffs.

"Arigatoo…Kuni-chan…"

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She knew something had happened the moment she took her seat. The tension between them disappeared, in its place…there was a gentle hum of happiness, so warm she wanted to scream and tear it apart.

She didn't miss the fact their hands were linked until she came in. Neither did she miss the fact that they had only eyes for one another. But she knew that she must bid her time. Soon, before their new-found love could solidify, she would tear them apart, _they_ would tear them apart.

She won't allow Fuji to get near to Tezuka again, Fuji only knew how to hurt him, slowly, and surely he will kill Tezuka. And Ann couldn't allow it, no, Tezuka needed her; only her…her alone was enough, isn't it?

She would love to have Tezuka drive her home, _not that he asked_, but she had something more important to attend to, so she had to leave first. All she had to do was to plan and then wait, soon, she would make her move and Tezuka would be hers.

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After paying for the meal both barely touched, they left. Their way to the car park was punctured by Ann's abrupt leaving in her own car.

As Fuji reached to open his car's door, a hand covered his. Feeling his heart throbbing painfully at the familiar warmth of Tezuka's hand, he lowered his head, tears were brimming in his eyes, and he didn't dare to look up. He was afraid, still fearful of letting Tezuka see his power over him.

Slowly, Tezuka turned him around, with such tenderness it made Fuji ached; he cupped his chin and made him look up. What he saw made his knees weak, if Tezuka hadn't been supporting him, he would have fall to the ground.

Love, shining so clearly and surely, tenderness so soft and undemanding, both combined to become a dangerous but potent potion.

"Aishiteru, Fuji Syuusuke…"

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That word had always been in Tezuka's heart, sleeping with all the memories of Fuji. It was reminding Tezuka of its existence every moment for the past five years. Reminding him every moment with poignant images of Fuji, never letting him free, his love had always tried to waken.

Until now, he hadn't consciously allowed his mind to think of the past they shared or the happiness they had and the love they were once proud of. Yet because of their pasts, because they weren't ready to face what their parents had done, they both chose to run.

He still wasn't sure if he could face the mess their parents had created with their selfishness and irresponsibility. But one thing he was very sure of, after so long, after five years of living in the shadow of the past, he had enough. He would now learn to stand firm and fight for his love.

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Even after swearing to beg and cheat and fight for Tezuka, Fuji was still cowardly trying to wait for Tezuka to make the first move. Thinking of that, he cringed. He was a coward, forever living off Tezuka's presence.

Straightening his shoulders, he looked straight into Tezuka's eyes. He was ready to learn to fight.

"Let's go to your house, Kuni-chan…I want to see where you have lived all this years. I want to see what I have missed out due to my foolishness."

Tears again filled his cerulean eyes.

Tezuka had pressed his forehead against his; a small affectionate smile was curving his lips. He could feel the warmth flowing from Tezuka to himself. He had missed the feeling of being needed, the pain he had been feeling for the past five years had dissipated at Tezuka's acceptance.

"Hai…" came Tezuka's soft reply.

Slipping his hand into Tezuka's bigger one, he gave it a playful tug, earning himself a raised brow. But he laughed it off and enjoyed the feeling of Tezuka's hand tightening around his, as if he were afraid that Fuji would slip away.

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They reached Tezuka's apartment after a twenty-minute drive. During the entire journey in Tezuka's car, their fingers remained entwined. Both were unwilling to let go, they have wasted so much time running from one another, running from their love, they didn't want to waste anymore time separate.

Fuji wasn't surprised at the expensive penthouse Tezuka owned, he had read all about his success in the business world. Neither was he surprised at the clean and neat apartment. What he was surprised at was the moment the lift opened and Tezuka extracted the card-key from the elevator's reader; a cat walked up to him and purred happily.

Bending down to the cat which was rubbing itself against Fuji, Tezuka picked it up with practiced ease. Raising amused eyes to Tezuka, Fuji smiled and reached out to pat the sleek ginger-brown cat.

"Demo…Kikumaru gave it to me, he thought I would need some company after you…"

Something tugged at Fuji's heart painfully at Tezuka's mention of his leaving. But he reminded himself that he would now make amends and make sure Tezuka would never again doubt him.

Forcing another smile onto his face, Fuji turned to look around his apartment. Walking swiftly to the hearth he looked at the small decorations which adorn the empty fireplace. It wasn't unusual for family to decorate empty hearth during warmer seasons, but somehow he couldn't imagine Tezuka doing that.

"Saa…Kuni-chan, who did that?"

"Ann-chan…she said my house looked empty and it would remind me of your absence…" again Tezuka drifted off.

This time Fuji couldn't stop his tears from falling.

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Tezuka didn't know what possessed him to keep reminding Fuji of his abandonment. Perhaps deep in his heart he still hadn't forget about the pain and the bewilderment he had felt when Fuji left him, now he was taking revenge.

Shaking himself mentally, he reminded himself that he had wanted Fuji back, now he must be mature enough to forgive and accept all their past mistakes.

When he saw Fuji lowered his head, he knew that he had hurt the person he most desperately wanted to love. Berating himself inwardly, he shifted closer towards Fuji. Standing so close to him, he smelt the smell that is uniquely Fuji's. Waiting for Fuji to look up at him, he let himself enjoy the moment of closeness.

Finally, with a little sniffing, Fuji looked up. Tezuka felt like the worst person when he saw the tears.

Not giving Fuji a chance to say anything, he placed his lips on Fuji's.

_So soft, so sweet, just like before…I want to stay like this forever, where our hearts are finally beating uniformly, resounding each other's love, waiting for the echo of mutual respect and listening for the chime of future. _

Slowly, Tezuka deepened the kiss. He didn't want to frighten Fuji, all he wanted was to protect and love this beautiful creature that had set his heart on fire and his gut to trembles.

"Syuu…Syuu…Aishiteru…don't ever leave me again…whatever comes our way, let's fight it together…just let us not part again…" Tezuka's lips never moved from Fuji's, just as his heart never had.

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**Author's note: Tezuka and Fuji are finally together, but for how long, how long before someone tries to break them apart, for good…well…stay tuned…minna-san!**


	18. solemn vow & the last unexpected twist

Disclaimer: POT and HXH don't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 18: Solemn Vow and the Last Unexpected Twist

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It must have been a dream. Never had he thought he would still have the chance to feel Tezuka's lips on his.

But it was real, his lips were real, the warmth he felt was real, Tezuka's words were real. Then why…why did he feel like he was in a dream, so light and so surreal, and so beautiful.

Leaning closer to Tezuka, Fuji wrapped his arms around the taller man. The smell of Tezuka's, so familiar, so sweet, let Fuji forgot about the past five years. The past was nothing, the moment now was everything.

He wanted to stay like this, held so gently in Tezuka's arms. He wanted to stay like this, forever. Afraid to step out of Tezuka's arms, afraid to face the world, afraid to lose contact with him, Fuji never wanted to leave Tezuka again.

Slowly, they parted, their lips working softly for air, but their hearts were pounding so hard with the love they had found again.

Their love, like a newborn colt, stood on unstable feet, walking and faltering, but never stopping. Now that it found out the joy of walking, it couldn't wait to run across the meadow spread so temptingly before it.

Not once, had Fuji's eyes left Tezuka's. As if fearing any loss in eye-contact would throw them apart.

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Seeing the uncertainty in Fuji's eyes made his heart ache for him, for them and for their lost love. But now, he was determined to find that love back.

Cupping Fuji's face gently, Tezuka smiled at the perfectly beautiful face looking up at him with adoration. Lovingly gathering the petite boy close to his chest, Tezuka pressed his cheek against Fuji's soft hair.

"I wish we can stay like this, without anything between us, nothing but trust and love."

He didn't get an answer, nor did he expect one.

His statement was just an expression of love; it wasn't to demand or to expect. It was just as it was; a statement of true love.

Clasping his hands around Fuji's body, Tezuka allowed himself to relax, truly relaxed.

It wasn't until Fuji started to feel heavy and weak against him, had he let Fuji go.

Seating Fuji and himself on the leather couch, he settled the sleepy Fuji against himself snuggly.

"Kuni-chan, so comfy…"

Tezuka smiled at the soft admission. Tightening his arms, he pulled Fuji into a more comfortable position. Now, simply laying with Fuji was enough.

He closed his eyes, but he jerked awake when he felt something snuggling between him and Fuji.

He smiled when he saw it was only his cat. Relaxing once more, he allowed the gentle breathing of Fuji to lull him to sleep.

Just before he was pulled into a dreamless sleep, he thought he felt Fuji kissed him.

"Oyasumi…Kuni-chan…"

For the first time in so many years, Tezuka fell asleep with a smile on his face.

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"Fuji…Syuu-chan…wake up, sleepy-head!"

Fuji had actually been awake since Tezuka shifted out of his arms and went about preparing for his day. He felt a moment of loss and almost thought that it was a dream after all.

Peeking at Tezuka reassured him. Tezuka was humming as he collected his suit and prepared breakfast for them and his cat. He almost gave himself away as a humming Tezuka wasn't something you see everyday.

Pretending to stir sleepily, Fuji threw his arms around Tezuka and using his weight to pull him down beside him. Tezuka struggled for awhile, but soon he realized that he was tricked and then he laid quietly on Fuji.

"Last night I forgot to tell you something…" Tezuka looked laughingly at Fuji and raised his brow.

Fuji ignored the raised brow, in all seriousness he stared into Tezuka's eyes.

Tezuka finally realized that Fuji was being perfectly serious with him quieted down.

"I want to first apologize to you. For leaving you when you needed me most, for lying to you when truth would bring you less heartache, for being stubborn, when I should have lost my pride to you, instead of losing you to my pride."

When Fuji saw that Tezuka wanted to say something, he shushed him.

"I want you to hear me out first." When Tezuka nodded, Fuji continued.

"There seemed to be a lack of communication between us, and that led us to one heart-break after another. Kuni-chan, let's make a vow…"

"Never let words be drowned out by a moment of anger, never let our love be doused by a moment of distrust and never let ourselves be separated by pride."

"Never let words be drowned out by a moment of anger, never let our love be doused by a moment of distrust and never let ourselves be separated by pride and I will never let you go."

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Somehow, that simple vow seemed more binding than wedding vows, more serious than blood oath and more touching than flowery words.

They almost went back to sleep, but Tezuka upon remembering the meeting he had with all the executives carefully disengaged himself.

"Shhh… go back to sleep, I just want to tell you I will be leaving soon, I have a meeting later. I will pick you up for lunch later?"

Tezuka didn't want to leave without telling Fuji, he no longer wants to see the uncertainty in Fuji's eyes, he no longer wants Fuji to wonder where he had gone.

Fuji nodded sleepily, Tezuka chuckled silently and pressed one last lingering kiss on his forehead and walked towards the door. Shrugging into his coat, he looked back once and saw Fuji looked at him strangely.

"Nani…"

"Iie…Aishiteru, Kuni-chan…Aishiteru…"

"Ja…" with a soft chuckle, Tezuka closed the door behind him.

His footsteps were light and his heart, even so.

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Fuji didn't know what was wrong, the moment he saw Tezuka standing at the door smiling at him, he had an irrational fear.

_I am going to lose him…again._

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- _

**Author's note: hee…hmmm…this is going to be the last few chapters. Well what would really happen? Will Tezuka survive this premonition Fuji had, or would their faith in this Dream fails them…stay tuned! **


	19. Memories of the Past

Disclaimer: POT and HXH don't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 19: Memories of the past

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"Tezuka Kunimitsu would be mine!"

"Yes, and without Tezuka, Fuji would soon learn to love me."

A plan, to bring two people their desired love and to tear two people in love apart, was hatched behind Ann Tachibana's house.

"He should be going through that same stretch of road tomorrow morning, if we act according to our plan…"

"Soon, we will have the love we wanted…"

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Tezuka took the familiar turn with his usual care. But that day, his mind wasn't on the road, instead he was thinking of Fuji.

A gentle smile flitted across his lips as he imagined Fuji still snuggling on the couch with his cat.

_How can yesterday seem so bleak and today so promising?_ As he was alone on the car, he permitted a silly grin to hang off his lips.

Gripping the steering wheel in a loose hold, he turned it smoothly across another bend. His eyes left the road for a moment as a blinking light caught his attention.

The moment he turned back, it was too late.

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"TEZUKA!"

Fuji jerked awake with the scream still echoing in the empty room. The cat purred and walked up to Fuji, looking baffled.

Gathering the soft creature into his arms, he sought comfort in the warm being.

The dream seemed so real, Tezuka was running towards him and then he just vanished. Shivering at the lingering feel of pain and loneliness, Fuji choked back a sob.

It can't be true, it was a dream.

But the twinge in his heart refused to fade.

Shifting across the couch with the cat still secured in his arms, he reached for the phone to check on Tezuka. Before he can pick up the cordless phone, it rang.

He was shocked; shocked that he was afraid of picking up that phone, afraid to hear whatever news it would bring.

His hand trembled.

"Moshi…"

Minutes passed and Fuji sat like a stone on the couch. The cat purred as if asking him what was wrong.

A tear slipped from his eye and then another.

"TEZUKA…"

The world seemed to have darkened with the anguish heard from that scream. As if paying respect to the dead and the gone, nothing was the same again; everything had dimmed and would soon fade in the face of the cruel reality.

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Ann paced the length of the room; her eyes never left the still body lying on the bed. Her mouth moved soundlessly. She realized belatedly that she was praying.

Tezuka had been lying there without as much as a twitch. She was scared.

Silently cursing Kurapica, Ann looked at Tezuka again. _Please wake up; I didn't mean to hit you so hard…please, please!_

Their plan was supposed to be flawless.

She was to stop Tezuka's car and lured him out of his car by pretending that her car had broke down. And when Tezuka wasn't looking, Kurapica would knock him out.

But he wasn't supposed to hit him so hard till Tezuka was bleeding. If only _she_ hadn't hit him so hard.

Now, she was stranded with an unconscious Tezuka and policemen calling to check if he was with her.

An empty car parked right in the centre of the road was bad enough, but with blood spotting the road; it definitely aroused the police's attention.

Kurapica had gone to 'comfort' Fuji Syuusuke.

She knew that she must remove Tezuka to somewhere else, somewhere safe from Fuji. Somewhere like her summer house in France!

Jerking from thoughts, she focused on Tezuka. Seeing that he had awakened and was moaning softly, Ann hurried to his side. She wanted to be the first person he saw.

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He couldn't breathe, sitting on the bench which flanked the room, fear was blocking his airway.

The call he received that morning was from the police, to inform him that Tezuka's car was found empty on the road and there were signs of struggle.

They found Tezuka's wallet and gotten his address and home number.

For the first time, he couldn't stop the fear from consuming his reasons and logic.

He wondered almost numbly, is this how their love is meant to be?

"Fuji-sama, I am Detective Akaya, I would be in-charge of this case. However I need some information from you, Inui there would take down the information for me."

"Iie data…Fuji-sama, this way please…"

Fuji followed the voice blindly; he was lost in his thoughts, lost in his grief.

Somehow he knew that Tezuka had left him unwillingly, even if the police hadn't told him about the signs of struggle seen at the scene.

Somehow, in his heart, he could still hear Tezuka calling him, pleading him to wait.

His normally closed eyes snapped open in perfect alertness. Someone was holding his Kuni-chan from him, and he wouldn't allow it.

Answering Inui woodenly, he provided the officer with the information he sought. However, another part of his brain was working furiously narrowing down the possibilities.

"Inui-senpai…there is someone here to see Fuji-sama…"

"Kaido-kun… Hmmm…please escort Fuji-sama out to see his guest and later ask Kirihara-senpai in."

"Fshhh…hai…"

Pushing all the minor details out of his mind, Fuji followed the dour-faced man out.

_Tezuka…where are you now…please tell me…I can hear you, I must…_

"Syuusuke…Daijoubu ka?"

"…Kurapica? Nani…ah…Daijoubu…doumo…" Fuji smiled wearily at his cousin.

He was about to move away when something caught his attention. A blood stain spotted Kurapica's sleeve.

An outrageous thought flashed though his troubled mind. _Is it him? Kurapica…my cousin…_

Looking seriously into Kurapica's blue eyes, Fuji's heart sank.

In the same blue eyes, he saw something he never thought he would see in his cousin's eyes…

Anger, guilt…and triumph…

_Kurapica…what have you done?_

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"Why am I in this room…Ann-chan?" Tezuka asked a shocked Ann Tachibana.

"…Iie…you…you were drunk again last night…that's why…"

"Drunk…again…" he growled softly as he massaged his abused head, "again…I was always drunk…why?"

"Because Fuji-san left…" she gasped at her slip of tongue. Looking guiltily at the stoic man, she waited to be reprimanded.

"Fuji…why is that name so…familiar?" Tezuka looked away from Ann, his face worried.

"Nani?"

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_How can you forget it so easily, the past we shared?_

_Pining for it, I waited_

_No longer, I would not hurt for you again_

_This is the coldest summer_

_Slowly, it frosted over, my love, my soul and my dreams_

_Perhaps it was me, I asked for too much_

_Perhaps that was why, you walked away_

_Never looking back, never stopping_

_The yellow scarf I tied for you_

_It was my yearning for you_

_But the wind had swept it away_

_How can you forget the past we shared?_

_How can you forget my love?_

_How can this dream end now that I had just find you_

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**Author's note: What if Tezuka really forgotten about Fuji, would it spell the end of their love? Stay tuned! Final three chapters! **


	20. Our Faith, Our Dream

Disclaimer: POT and HXH don't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 20: Our Faith Our Dream

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He didn't understand what's happening, his memories seemed…distorted.

There were parts of them so clear and some totally blurred, no, more like disappeared. What's wrong? He couldn't figure it out.

_Kuni-chan…_

His head jerked up, he thought someone just called his name.

_Fuji…Fuji…_ he tried to chant that name in his mind, no matter who or what that name stands, he only knew that it was something, someone important…he must remember… it's his promise…his…vow…

"Ann-chan, Fuji…tell me who he is…now!" he barked at the girl.

"Fuji…he…betrayed you with his cousin Kurapica…but now that you regained your wealth, he wants you back…Fuji Syuusuke's a bad person!" she cried passionately.

"Fuji Syuusuke, my lover…bad person…" Tezuka mumbled to himself. He didn't know why, but his heart ache at the mention of Fuji, of Fuji betraying him.

Tezuka narrowed his eyes, Tachibana was acting too strangely. She was not her usual calm self and her anxiety couldn't be pass off as simple worry.

Just as he was going to question her more closely, a sharp stab of pain in his head stopped him. Clutching his throbbing skull, he tried to hold his moan in check.

At that moment, when his mind was a sea of agony and confusion, his heart cried out for Fuji. Yet, Ann-chan had told him that Fuji betrayed him, if so, why would he still want him…unless someone was lying to him.

With his eyes nearly closed shut in pain, he stared at Ann-chan, who was bending over him. What he saw chilled him, beneath the concern; he saw a glint of triumph.

But before he could full comprehend what was happening, he slipped back into the darkness, in search of the obliviousness from this gut-wrenching pain.

_Fuji…Syuu…Fuji Syuusuke…_

His last coherent thought was that Fuji would never betray him.

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Ann Tachibana, one of the most sought after heiresses and the kidnappers of Tezuka Kunimitsu, let out a shuddering breath.

Their plan was simple and perfect, not foolproof, but still feasible.

She would stop Tezuka's car, and Kurapica would hit him on the head with a stick.

Then she would remove Tezuka to her house and keep him unconscious with laudanum for a few days. And Kurapica would convince Fuji that Tezuka had left him again so that Fuji would like always, turn to him.

And by the time Tezuka recovered, Fuji would be a thousand miles from him, flying back to Paris with Kurapica. Soon, Ann believed that, with her love, Tezuka would forget Fuji.

But the plan was somewhat foiled. Tezuka Kunimitsu had a very hard skull. That was found out a little too late by them.

There was a fight between Tezuka and Kurapica. Tezuka almost won if not for the fact that he had trusted Ann and she had betrayed that trust.

She hit him on the head with a brick by the roadside.

Ann shuddered when she recalled the anger and incredulous look on Tezuka's face, before he crumpled by her feet.

Praying fervently that he had also forgotten about her betrayal of his trust, she tucked him in securely.

It appeared that the blow to his head had caused him to forget about Fuji, only Fuji Syuusuke.

How ironic, the one you loved the most is the person your mind chose to forget. Perhaps that's why love was the angel of the heart and the enemy of the mind.

"Mitsu-chan, please forgive me. I simply love you too much to lose you."

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Kurapica looked into Fuji's eyes and fear struck him deep.

He had never seen Fuji like this before, this angry.

"Syuusuke…matte…I can explain"

One moment he was standing in front of Fuji, the next he was up against the wall with Fuji's hands _supporting_ him by the neck.

"Where is Tezuka?" Fuji bite out his words with such coldness that Kurapica almost confess immediately.

"What…what are you talking about…I didn't know…" he was cut off as Fuji tightened his grip, choking off the rest of his words.

"I will only ask you one last time, **WHERE IS TEZUKA!**" biting out word by word, he dangle the threat dangerously in front of Kurapica.

Kurapica finally realized that that wasn't a question, no, it was a statement. He had never seen this Fuji Syuusuke before.

Determined and angry, ready to kill for his love, Kurapica gave a bitter smile.

Now he had seen how deep Fuji's love for Tezuka run, the kind of love time and distance couldn't and hadn't washed off. The kind of love that one could only find in dreams, the one and only love that happen in a century, in a millennium.

No matter what happens Fuji would never love him. Because Tezuka had filled his heart since they first met, since, the very beginning.

"Aishiteru, Fuji Syuusuke!" this was the last bid to make Fuji give up Tezuka Kunimitsu.

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"Ii yadda! Stop it, please, just tell me where did you hide Tezuka, please, I beg you" the tears he had held back so painfully fell as the hope of seeing Tezuka again pierced through his defense.

"What is it that Tezuka has that I don't? Why are you willing to sacrifice all for him, and yet you are not willing to give me a little of that attention?"

The pain and hopelessness in Kurapica's voice forced Fuji to look up. Kurapica's tear-streaked face etched deep into Fuji's heart.

He had known long ago that Kurapica had feelings for him, but his heart was all taken up by Tezuka and there really wasn't any place left for another man.

"Kurapica…gomen nasai" drawing in a shaking breath, he tried to reduce his cousin's pain. His grip loosened but still held on.

"It was like; it was like there was a string that binds us together. No matter where we are, this string simply tightens and slowly pulled us together." Fuji smiled as he thought of their eventful past.

"Once, I thought that this string had snapped due to my stupidity, but later I realized that this string would never break. _Even in death_, this string would guide me to him, because we have faith in our love." He smiled, remembering his vow with Tezuka.

"No matter what others said, this dream of ours never meant to end."

"Gomen Kurapica, please, just tell me where is Tezuka?"

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You could fight against lies and defeat gossips, but the truth is the truth, you can never win against the unbending truth.

Fuji Syuusuke never love him, not like he loved Tezuka Kunimitsu.

Be it five hours or five centuries, their love would remain the legend, the myth. Be it pain or happiness, their bond remained stronger than diamond, just like his ties to him are weak like carbon.

Removing Fuji's hands from his neck, Kurapica dusted off imaginary lint from his sleeve. His lowered head covered more than his tears, it covered his pain and his failure.

"Come on, I will bring you to her"

"Her? You mean someone else is involved?"

"Ann Tachibana"

Fuji's head jerked up in surprise. It appeared that Ann Tachibana escaped Fuji's suspicions.

Kurapica gave a mirthless laugh. What a day, what a failure.

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"_Never let words be drowned out by a moment of anger…"_ clawing desperately at the veils suffocating him, he tried to run towards that voice.

"…_never let our love be doused by a moment of distrust and never let ourselves be separated by pride…"_ Tezuka reached frantically for the waning voice.

"FUJI!"

The moment he jerked up in bed, his head split in a murderous pain. Clutching his aching head, he tried to remember the words he heard, the…vow.

No matter how hard he tried, the words evaded him, the dream…the dream!

_It wouldn't end; this dream of ours wouldn't end!_

Tezuka didn't know what dream he meant, but that thought had brought him calm and peace. It gave him strength to endure this trial he was going through.

The memories he had forgotten, the person he had forgotten and the pain of knowing that he had forgotten sapped his strength and his will to live. But this faith in _their dream_ gave him the vigor to go on.

Slipping unwillingly back to a slumber, he clung onto that thought, that vow in his dream and that promise.

_Matte Fuji, I would remember, I would not let this dream end like this!_

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_Wait for me Kuni-chan. I wouldn't let our dream end, I promise!_

Following Kurapica into his car, he held onto his faith, their faith in their vow and their dream.

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**Author's note: well, everything got to end someday. Coming up next is the finales, the last two chapters! Would everything end happily or would heartbreak prevail against happiness? As usual, stay tune!**


	21. dreams,they end, don't they

Disclaimer: POT and HXH don't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 21: Dreams…they end, don't they?

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She paced the length of her room for the umpteen times. She knew that Tezuka was awake and was more than determined to find out the truth.

Ignoring the calls coming from his room, Ann prayed hard that Kurapica would come soon. She couldn't bear facing this herself.

"Please, oh god, please don't let him remember anything. I need him; I need him more than Fuji does."

The loud knock on her door shocked her out of her musings.

Cautiously opening her door, she wished that it was a servant.

"Mitsu-chan! What are you doing…?"

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"Why did you help Tachibana-san?" Fuji didn't look at Kurapica.

Kurapica knew that Fuji was just trying to lessen his guilt. If Ann Tachibana had initialed this entire plot, in Fuji's mind, his guilt would be minimized.

He mocked himself. How can he ever think to hurt Fuji like this?

"Gomen Fuji" with those two words, Kurapica confirmed his responsibility in this scheme.

Fuji fell silent. Kurapica knew that he had hurt him more, but in a way, this was the only thing he could do, to repay, to atone his sins.

Directing the car through two turns, Ann Tachibana's mansion came into view. Stopping at the gate, they waited for the security guard to open it.

"Kurapica, I won't press charges against you or Tachibana-san."

The tears he fought so hard to keep in check spilled over his cheeks, scaldingly and unrelentingly.

He knew, from all the time he had spent with Fuji since childhood that Fuji would never hurt anyone, even if that person hurt him. But if anyone touch someone he cared, his avenge would be swift and pitiless.

But now, he was willing to let go. Somehow it was enough, for it showed that he was someone of great importance to Fuji as well.

"Arigatoo" he choked out, all his regret and pain mingled within that one word. His shame prevented him from saying more.

If only he realize it earlier, if only he accept that no matter what happen, Fuji would never forget Tezuka. Even if Tezuka had died, even if he had died for a million years, Fuji would still love him and him only.

What a fool he had been, grasping after what he could and would never has.

Finally, the gate swung open on well-greased hinges.

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The moment she gotten news of Kurapica's arrival with another person through the intercom, she knew that he had given up.

Sitting across her in a similar armchair, Tezuka was listening intently to the buzz of the intercom. The moment he heard Kurapica's name, his eyes clashed with Tachibana's. And she knew that he had his suspicions.

Determined not to give up, she struck up an innocent conversation with him. It was a pretty hard thing to do as Tezuka had been glowering at her with his usual coolness and a touch of anger.

The instant she opened the door to admit Tezuka, she knew that the truth would be revealed soon. Never had she seen someone more determined to find out the truth.

But she wasn't ready to give up yet. Even if Kurapica had given up, she won't.

She had nothing to lose. And one with nothing to lose would fight till death.

Somehow, her carefully composed mask cracked, no, it had been crushed since she knew that she was alone in fighting for her love.

Looking up, she saw something that hit her hard. It destroyed her confidence, so thoroughly, where even her worst failures hadn't.

Sympathy

Sympathy for someone who had lost, not only to Fate but also to love.

Clenching her fists tightly, she ignored the pain when her nails dug into her palms. She couldn't lose, no, she refused to lose.

Standing up, with her arms stiff by her sides, she stared resentfully at the carpet. Her sudden movement caused Tezuka to stand as well.

"Don't look at me" she mumbled. And when Tezuka continued to stare at her, completely baffled, she snapped.

"STOP LOOKING AT ME! STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!" she screamed, till her voice was hoarse.

"Like what?" he asked, with his usual courtesy.

She laughed, not a happy sound people made when joyous, no, hers was the kind when human was pushed to their limits. She was at hers, walking between the very thin line of sanity and madness.

Tezuka seemed to recognize that, for he fell silent when he was about to speak.

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"Stop looking as if you were looking into me, stop using that judgmental look on me; please stop looking at me as if I have lost! Stop…please, just stop looking at me AS IF I HAVE LOST TO FUJI SYUUSUKE!"

It ended in a scream, it was loud, but it didn't hurt Tezuka's ear, it hurt his heart. He trusted her, as a friend, yet she was lying.

Tezuka knew, from all the little hints he picked up from Ann-chan, that she was lying, about why he was in her house and most importantly, about Fuji betraying him.

His memories were still vague, but there were snatches of them, sudden but vivid.

One thing he was now sure of, Fuji Syuusuke has been and would continue to be his one and only love. He was just too important; Tezuka could feel his heart tremble every time he saw Fuji's face flashed through his mind.

However, whenever he thought about his past with Fuji Syuusuke, his heart would ache. So he wasn't sure if Ann-chan's words were totally false. He prayed that they were, for somehow, he suspected that his heart could not weather another painful storm.

Looking at Ann-chan's wild and dilated pupils, he knew that he must calm her down first.

Slowly approaching her as one would a cornered beast; he put a reassuring hand on her arm. He refused to let go when she flinched.

"Ann-chan, take a seat first." Lowering her gently onto the armchair, he knelt in front of her, his face earnest and his tone mild.

"I wasn't judging you, I wasn't looking at you like you have lost to Fuji Syuusuke…" she flinched again, either due to her earlier words or the mention of Fuji's name, Tezuka couldn't tell.

"I want to know the truth, no, I need to know. It's only fair, it's my right. It's… so scary to have periods of blurred memories." It was the first time he let known of his fear.

"I knew that I have lost something dear, someone dear. I want to remember that someone, that something. I need to be sure of my past. Please Ann-chan, you are my friend, please help me remember again."

"I… I felt flawed." He ended, with a grimace.

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Those words were like a slap.

They hurt because she knew she was the cause of them.

Tezuka Kunimitsu wasn't a man of many words. Even in his darkest hour, he had kept silent, keeping his pain in firm control.

Now, he was willing to tell her about his fears.

Perhaps in the past, Tezuka never doubt his memories, even when Fuji had left him and later betrayed him, he was sure of his past.

But now, his memories were _flawed_.

Her heart was in conflict. She wanted to lie to him, she wanted him.

But a tiny voice laughed at her.

_No matter how you bluff and cheat, he would never be yours. _

_See, even when thinking about his past pained him, he still sought that one person who he loved and now forgotten. _

_You never meant to have him…_

_Let go Ann Tachibana, let go now gracefully, before you find yourself hurting all of them, hurting yourself._

Her lips quaked up in a bitter smile.

"Gomen nasai, Tezuka Kunimitsu…but I am not giving up yet!" Picking up a fruit knife from her coffee-table, she stared at Tezuka resentfully.

_If only he hadn't make me fall in love with him…_

_If only he wasn't in love with Fuji Syuusuke…_

_If only he were mine…_

_If only I haven't lost…NO…I HAVEN'T LOST! NOOOO…_

"No…Tezuka, watch out!"

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**One year later:**

The day was bright and clear, looking up into the sky, one could only see the white clouds misting the otherwise blue sky. It would be a perfect day to visit someone you love.

Apparently someone thought so too.

With a bunch of champagne-colored roses in his hand, Fuji walked quietly through all the tombstones.

Finally coming to one shiny marble tombstone, he stopped. Kneeling down, he brushed the dry leaves adorning the top of the marble away with his handkerchief.

Gently putting the flowers by the side, he wiped away the dust covering the stone, blurring the image of the one he loved and lost.

He smiled at the picture. Then his lips trembled.

All he could see now was a picture of him, locked within the smiling photo. Dead and unmoving, there was no life; no more…he's gone.

"Gomen ne…I was always too late"

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**Author's note: Who said dreams could last forever? Sometimes, no matter how unwillingly, you must wake up. They do end, don't they? The dreams... **


	22. author's note

**Author's note**

**Yo minna-san! This is one of the longest series I have ever done, and I must say that I am touched and motivated by all the reviews you guys have given me! Doumo arigatoo gozaimasu! **

**When I started this story, it was of a moment of impulse. But as the story develops, I found out that I have grown with the characters as well. Not only so, I have also fallen in love with all my characters. **

**I made Tezuka and Fuji matured through all the hardships they had to go through and made them be certain of their love. Perhaps to you, they are all fiction, but I forgotten that and I must say that I have learned to be strong and realize that a lot of my ideals were too silly to exist in this world, through all this chapters I have done. **

**In our hearts, a part of us wished to create a new life for the characters we seen in anime. Based on that desire, I worked hard to reproduce all the characters I loved. **

**When I begin writing fan fiction a few years ago, I defined what would make a good author out of me.**

**As an author, I must also be a person and a reader.**

**As an author, I write for the characters. As a reader, I write for entertainment and as a person, I write for the joy of creating new lives...when I could fulfill these three things...I would have achieved what an author meant to do, a reader wanted to read and a person's desire to play god and create...**

**Until now, I still couldn't manage to satisfy what it meant to be a reader. Because I always write for myself. Gomen nasai! But lately I started to feel like a reader, because I was touched by the reviews you guys gave me! Thanks a ton!**

**At first this was a story, with a beginning and an end, but towards the end, I forgotten that this story was a made-believe. I couldn't bear to let it end. But one of my faithful reader and friend told me that even if my story ends now, in my heart, in some corner of it, I would know that this dream I created for Tezuka and Fuji would never end. **

**Please follow me as I present to you the final finale of this Fan fiction -- -- A DREAM THAT NEVER MEANT TO END**


	23. A Dream that Never Meant to End

Disclaimer: POT and HXH don't and will never belong to me.

Chapter 22: A Dream That Never Meant To End

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"I knew I would find you here" a finely cultured voice jerked Fuji from his stupor.

"Maa, you came too" wiping his tears discreetly with his fingers as his handkerchief was soiled, he looked behind.

"How can I not come, when today is the death anniversary of my savior?" walking towards Fuji and the tombstone, he laid a similar bouquet of roses down by Fuji's.

Kneeling down to a like position as Fuji, he bowed deeply in respect.

"Arigatoo Gozaimas, if it weren't for you, I would be the one laid in there"

Fresh tears spilled from Fuji's eyes and fell onto the marble ground. A new stab of pain pierced his heart.

"Doumo…Kurapica"

Covering Fuji's cold hand, Tezuka sought to give the maximum comfort.

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**One year ago:**

"No…Tezuka, watch out!" Fuji screamed as he opened the door to see Ann-chan charging at Tezuka with a fruit knife in her hand.

He propelled himself forward with a speed edged on by the anxiety to save his love.

Shielding Tezuka with his body, his face scrunched up in preparation of the stab he knew was coming.

Seconds passed, and Fuji opened his eyes. His heart trembled when he saw Tezuka's face hovering just above his.

Tezuka was safe, that's what matter the most to Fuji at that moment.

It was then, when the shock of seeing Tezuka in danger and the relief of seeing him fine worn off, he felt another body covering his.

Releasing his death grip on Tezuka, he turned slowly.

As if Time had stopped before and now everything was going back to normal, the body covering his slid off.

With a soft thud, it hit the floor.

Praying desperately that it wasn't what he thought, he looked down.

"KURAPICA"

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**One year later:**

Tezuka never thought that Kurapica would be the one who saved them.

"_Please…take care of Fuji…I…I can't be" coughing weakly as blood seeped from his body, sapping his energy. _

"…_I can't be there for him anymore…don't let him cry again…don't let him be hurt…protect him…with your… life…Tezuka Kunimitsu…" _

At that moment, he was touched. Touched as he was never touched, he felt Kurapica's love for Fuji so clearly.

"Arigatoo Kurapica, I have and will continue to keep that promise to you."

Tightening his grip on Fuji's hand, he tugged Fuji into his arms gently.

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In Tezuka's embrace, Fuji let his tears fall.

Kurapica had died, giving them a chance to live out their dream. Yet all he could give him on his last breathe was an apology.

He was always too late. Too late in seeing Kurapica's love for him, too late in realizing that his breakdown after breaking up with Tezuka had affected Kurapica, too late in saving him, he was always too late.

As his pain subsided a little, he gave Kurapica's picture a teary smile.

_Ne Kurapica, tomorrow your mother and my father would be marrying. They would want your blessing. _

_After so long, most of us had found our own unique partners and one common love._

Straightening from Tezuka's hold, he bowed one last time in deep respect for the person who had cared so much and loved him so.

Walking slowly with Tezuka from the cemetery, he turned once.

He thought he heard Kurapica chuckling.

They said that our loved ones never die, for they lived, forever in our memories.

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Two days later, Tezuka was in bed, his body curled warmly around Fuji's.

"Neh, Kuni-chan, your mother and my aunt look so beautiful today."

"Hai"

"So did your father and mine"

"Hai"

"Everyone was blessing them"

"…"

"Have you ever regretted loving me and not a girl…?"

His question was cut off by Tezuka's mouth. Tezuka was angry; Fuji could feel it in his kiss. This kiss was out to punish, not to love.

"Don't ever ask me that question, if you ever doubt my love for you, just tell me so, and I will prove to you that nothing is more important than you, not even my life"

Staring at his intense brown eyes, Fuji knew that he had hurt him.

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After Tezuka had subdued Ann-chan, who was still screaming and crying, he stared at Fuji and Kurapica.

Fuji's arms were tight around Kurapica's body, his cries so heart-wrenching that Tezuka started to doubt his wavering memories.

He wondered painfully if Fuji really betrayed him for Kurapica.

After everything was settled, Ann-chan was brought to trial and diagnosed mentally unstable, thus ended up in a mental institute.

Kurapica's mother came back from Paris to attend to his funeral.

Upon seeing her, Fuji's father fell in love. Not only because she was twin to his love, but also because of her strong will and strength. After surviving an abusive husband, whom she had divorced, and now a dead son, she was more than strong.

A complete opposite of Fuji's mother, she was determined that he was to obtain a divorce before she would even consider him.

Tezuka's mother was more than happy now to agree to the divorce. Apparently Tezuka's father, the infamous Kuroro Lucifer had decided to confess his love.

After so many twists and turns, their parents found their true love and embarked with their new partners in this journey of life.

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Through all this, Tezuka had purposely kept a distance from Fuji.

At first Fuji thought he simply needed time to fully regain his memory, but when he saw the flick of recognition in his eyes and then seeing it chilled, he was heartbroken.

Tezuka had remembered something, yet he refused to talk to Fuji.

Finally, two months after the incident, Fuji confronted Tezuka.

"Tell me truthfully, have you regained _any_ of your memories?"

"…"

The silence was enough.

His breath hitched painfully. Turning before Tezuka could see his tears, he took a step away.

Before he could walk away with his pride intact, his arm was grabbed from behind.

It took Tezuka a few tugs to have Fuji looked up.

"I remembered something but it was vague. I know that I love you…" at that Fuji's face perked up

"But I wasn't sure of your love…" then it fell again.

"How can you doubt my love? I love you more than life itself! If not, I would never have tried to block that knife now would I?" he yelled at Tezuka, angered at his stupidity and his doubts about his love.

"Gomen…I was scared…I couldn't remember anything solid enough to reassure myself."

Seeing Tezuka's troubled face, Fuji felt ashamed.

All along he had only thought of his feeling and never considered Tezuka's. He was the one with impaired memory; he was the one who needed reassurances.

Pulling the slightly taller boy into his embrace, he whispered something into his ears.

Almost immediately Tezuka's arms crushed Fuji to him.

"Aishiteru Fuji Syuusuke…"

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Panting softly against Tezuka, Fuji was properly "chastised" for his silly question an hour ago.

"Remember what I told you last year, before you fell to your knees and proposed?" Fuji asked teasingly.

"…"

"Oh come on…"

"I remembered…very clearly"

Staring into each other's eyes, they said the words which had given Tezuka the strength to believe. Somehow, warm within each other's arms in the chilly night breeze, it was like pledging their love to one another once more.

"Even if every dream must come to an end, there is one that won't. It would keep you asleep forever. It's our love, a dream that never meant to end"

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**Author's note: Right from the start, they were living in a Dream call Love. People had defined Dream as a Fantasy which would dissolve at the mere prod of Reality. Yet Fuji and Tezuka were willing to risk this Fantasy, for they have faith that Their Dream Never Meant To End****！**

**Well minna-san, this is truly the end. Once more, thank you for following me through this dream.**


End file.
